Things you can't fix can kill you, never thought of this?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by dolphin, Feb 8, 2008.

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  1. dolphin

    dolphin Member

    well, when you see strangers in the street, while you go to work, shopping or else, you don't know them. Knowing someone is not only knowing their skin color or their hair and eyes color, it has to do with what we've been through in life. When you see someone you judge him/her by their appearance but what you don't know is:
    -maybe they are looking for their mother, they were adopted,
    -they were abused when they were kids,
    or maybe
    -they have been through hell...going through hell for some means nothing for someone else because we simply don't have the same life at all. Therefore if someone feel suicidal show respect and don't say "go ahead kill yourself" because it takes a lot of courage to die. It has nothing to do with religion, we will go to the same place. Why do I want to end it all?

    I want to end who I am as a person and who am I? well I have been through some kind of hell, I can not fix who I am, I am not addcited to any substance but thinking that I have been through that hell and can not forget about it, just kills me inside, my soul is scared forever. I have been born to a weird family, we say we can't choose our family but we can choose our friends. My family, I chose them, I chose mom and dad when I was with god, because I had to learn something from this life and I noticed that I teach my parents more than they did. In fact, the only thing I learnt is that: life is hell and when I see members here asking if death would be worse than life, I have an answer or a question, can it be worse than this? really? ok no physics or materials so I think that's a plus. I have seen bad people who have everything, they ahve parents who love them....I have seen good people who live hell, why? what did we do, us good people, to live this hell? I think I must have been bad in another life.

    You never asked yourself why would someone commit suicide over something that happened 10 years prior? the boomrang effect that is...I can not heal from what happened to me 10-15 years ago and I am still hurting. how can a 30 years woman suffer? is it depression? we tend to forget that people don't choose to go through depression, depression comes to them through the events they experienced.
    I think that as long as we can not fix our past, our problems, or the source of our problems, we will feel suicidal. There are obstacles that keep us from being happy. For my part, my dad will never explain why he has beaten me as a child, why he hated me more than my 7 other siblings, why did I lived this, sometimes I want to tell God how much he is wrong for choosing to send us here and go through burdens in order to learn, I didn't need that to learn.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2008
  2. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member


    You must be very strong... be proud of yourself!
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i don't know why good people suffer... but it seems to be that way.

    i believe that it is possible to heal from the pain of past events, and i have seen people do it. don't give up hope. it may take time and lots of work but it is possible.

    every bad thing i have experienced helped make me the person i am today, i am both good and bad, crazy and sane, selfish and compassionate to others, but above all kind.

  4. dolphin

    dolphin Member

    I wish I could find that magic potion to heal. I know some have healed from the bad experiences thanks to religion. I tried meditation, I couldn't concentrate very well. thank you for your kind words hurted and Catherine.
    I have seen a girl who tried to commit suicide 10 years after she was bullied at school and se said "I did that because I kept it inside but I did that because I was bullied".
    it was 10 years ago and she kept it inside never rebelled against anyone, I feel the same way.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2008
  5. Ed.

    Ed. Well-Known Member

    ok so im too drunk to read all what you typed, but i got this bit:

    what if they are a normal guy, working hard in a regular job, like in admin in an office, no real future advancements, but it sees he can afford a good house and food and its easy work, he has a wife, who makes him content, shes not the next Miss world, but she makes him content like i said (and also how shakespear said in macbeth, in a more descriptive form lol) he also has 2 kids, 1 is 9 years old and a real kid, hes active and crzy just like a 9year old should be, the other kid is like 2, a baby, new to this world..... what abou those guys? those "average joes" ? ? ? ? and before you ask... im not as i described, im a depressed university student in the uk....

    (btw im really drunk, as i always am on this i dont mean to aoffen or upsett anybosy ;):):): ) ) ) ) )
  6. altek001

    altek001 Well-Known Member

    like it says in my signature...
    be careful what you say...everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.
  7. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    I agree. :)
  8. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    theres not much we can do but move on from past experiences unless you choose to be stuck in its void. it just takes some time
  9. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Bingo. I know a guy that grew up on welfare with only his mother, who had a mental illness so severe she was unable to work. He had a rough life growing up as you can imagine but he did not give in to helplessness and in the end he rose above it. He is 23 now and makes over 200k a year from the three businesses he owns. It is all about effort and how much of it you are willing to put in to see your dreams realized.
  10. dolphin

    dolphin Member

    everybody has a story we don't know about. even people who live in a great house that doesnt mean they are happy or didn't go through hell
  11. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    Man, those stories are great to hear but I always get a bit ticked off at them. Now I have to somehow live up to that. Some people do get lucky, and some put a lot of effort and get little to nothing. Though I haven't even put effort yet so....:mellow:
  12. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Haha, I know what you mean. You do not have to live up to anything though, your life is all about what works for you. Some people do get lucky but others refuse to accept bad luck and make their good luck with sheer perserverance. Your happiness is all that matters. You may be surprised what you can achieve when you set your mind to it.
  13. I SO hear you Dolphin!! Everything you wrote. Your title says it all, and if I'd had the energy, I would have gleefully CHOKED the people who've told me " makes you stronger". And if I had a dollar for each time they did, I'd be RICH!

    I utterly despise platitudes, and there simply is NO one-size-fits-all solution. I'm not saying that it's impossible to learn from the shit we go through (it truly can be enriching and enlightening - that is, once you are/if you are able to gain perspective) - but yes, it DOES in fact kill a lot people. I also know that folks mean well when they say stuff like that, but unless they can walk a mile in your shoes (which sadly, is a rather rare ability), I'd prefer they keep their mouthes shut. In fact, sometimes it has seemed, to me at least, that they say such things to make themselves feel better... I'm not down on getting support either - don't get me wrong - but sometimes, it's best to simply be a Good Listener!! (sadly, yet another seemingly rare ability)
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2008
  14. dolphin

    dolphin Member

    I am glad you understood what I meant. Yes they say "I know how you are feeling" yet sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. My big problem in this life is my family, gosh, I am nothing like them, I think I am living somebody else's life, they are so different from me. That's my big deal. I don't know if you believe in reincarnation but I do and I think that I know why we neevr remember our lives, previous lives, unless we go through hypnosis it's to protect us from suffering. I know that I whine about my life a lot and when I watch tv and see all these poor people without arms or hungry, I just feel a looser thinking that I have it hard while there is worse.
    My secondary big problem in this life is my studies I wanted to go far more than I did at school and all my problems, my family problems, affected me so much that I was depressed. At 14 I wanted to end it all, I am now 30 and I think I lived 16 long years, worthless just bullshit.I would have preserved myself against a lot of burdens if I was dead at 14, I know that at 21 I was bullied at school, the same year I was raped, after that I was going out with boiyfriends that were not ok, and jobwise, I never stayed more than a year in a company.

    my first post was meant also to explain that people tend to judge without knowing, for example, I have a tendency to make people hate me, but they don't know me. I think in this ***** life you have to be a b*** so can people respect you more. I can not tell you how much people disrespected me in the past I just can tell you they disrespect me the first second they see me.

    for example, at grocery store they would stare but badly not like they admire you or find you pretty, when I use to be a student, the first day the girl who bullied me talked to me nicely, the next day she started bullied me with 5 girls. I was living alone at the time and so lonely and lost. In fact even if one day I live an happy life, with everything that I need and the dream job, well that will not make me forget how much I hurt inside because no one should go through this. ALSO I have agood memory, I don't forget stuff and details that happened to me or what happened to people around just stays in my head forever and it's killing me!
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 12, 2008
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