Things you do that hurts you and yet you keep on doing it...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by boo, Jun 16, 2010.

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  1. boo

    boo Well-Known Member

    What are things you do that hurt you or close ones, but yet you keep on doing it? And why do you keep doing it?

    Drug abuse ( i need it to feel normal)
    Ignoring my family ( I grew up being very detached from them )
    Self pity ( doesn't get me anywhere at all )
    Suicidal adulation ( It's an obsession. I read, dream and breath it )
    Dreaming about my ex...
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Self destruct on myself
    trust people
    self harm
    spend hours thinking of new ways I can hurt myself
    avoid sleep
  3. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    fall in love / trust
    look up triggers (pictures of places, searching for people, etc.)
    distance myself

    .. all I can think of right now.
  4. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Continually getting involved with men (I shouldn't bother, it just makes me more depressed and suicidal when it ends).

    Drinking (only time I feel I can actually 'enjoy' myself and enjoy life).

    Spending time with friends who I know are bad for me (they suck, make me feel bad about myself, always ends badly).

    Talking to my mother about my life (she pretends she cares but she just doesn't get it.)
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    over's the only comfort I get but I hate the idea I might get fat

    trying to fix things that have gone wrong....I can't do it all but I keep trying and making things worse

    expecting too much....always get hurt when I don't get it

    being there for others....then getting hurt when they're not there for me :eek:hmy:
  6. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    Wishing for a time machine- really. My illnesses have slowly eroded my abilities to function or even sleep anymore so I look in photo albums or play music from a certain time and agonize that I cannot just go back to those periods in my life. :sad:
  7. Anonymity

    Anonymity Member

    Much much ignorance. Mostly towards my parents because I hate them so much. Whenever I try to help them, they do shit for me in return when I ask for a simple favor. So now I'm just not doing chores and acting like a total ass by just IGNORING them. They simply get angry and yell and yell at how bad of a kid I am, which I could easily agree to, given my terrible behavior. I really don't like being like this; I could easily do the things they ask me to do but I refuse and do what they don't want me to do for the purpose of pissing them off.

    The problem is that I complain about how bad of parents they are, and when they yell at me. I'm expecting this, and I have actually punched my mother in the face at one time. I felt pretty bad about it and took a walk to the railroad station to think things out ~ When you do something like that, you're confirming the thought that you're a bad person, or that you'll grow up to do bad things.

    Speaking about bad things, I also have a problem with myself. I'm quiet, antisocial, and violent when I'm angry. The typical childhood symptoms of a grown serial killer. I sometimes have dreams about plainly murdering people and am worried that I will become one when I grow up. When I tell the people I trust, they simply push it aside: they say I could never do it, like they say that I would never kill myself the same I've always said I would, but haven't done yet. These... "you won't do it" more encourage me to do it, idk whats wrong with me. I really hate people sometimes, too. I continue to think about it even when I don't want to do it.

    I'm a senior, leaving for college in late August. My friends tell me college is something worth living for, and that I should at least wait until I get some college experience before coming to the conclusion that I should commit suicide. One of my friends is going to the army, and has to leave for boot camp before prom and graduation. Today, my friends me to go to his going away party, but I refused. We've been really good friends since elementary school ~ he's probably the longest lasting friend I've had in my whole life. And I might not see him again (suicide on my part), and today would have been my last opportunity to really congratulate him, etc. Why did I refuse? Again, I hate people. I'm indifferent to my friends now, trying to put myself back to the state of isolation I used to live in, where depression was shallow and close to nonexistent. I do this a lot too, and in the end its completely useless ~ I get back with my friends sometime later and regret what I did before. That's another habit I have that really hurts me and I do it anyway. I don't even know, I wish I could go back a few hours now, but I can't do that.

    There's a lot more, but no one's going to read this post anyway. I just feel like all these criticisms I make about myself give me more reason to kill myself, for I'm such a fucking idiot. Well that's why I decided to outburst on the forums today ~ I only really do this when I'm depressed to the point I'm about to go berserk on the railroad.
  8. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Breathing. Strictly instinct.
  9. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Being an open book...
    Isolating myself...
    Always looking down on myself...
    Not getting anything out of therapy...
  10. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    being around 'my family' things are changing tho'.
  11. amarinova

    amarinova New Member

    Clinging to the past. Being afraid to let go of things and people.
  12. Remedy

    Remedy Chat & Forum Buddy

    having hope she'll change...
  13. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    Self harm
    Be alone with my thoughts
    Not tell anyone the truth
  14. C. Van Wade

    C. Van Wade New Member

    Obsessing over myself; which entails bouncing from wild and fantastical daydreams to replaying recent mistakes over and over until I convince myself that I am useless. But all of that is automatic anyway.. it's all I can remember doing.. this is compounded by drinking half a bottle of whiskey and turning off my phone - poor condiments for an already wretched meal.
  15. greyroses

    greyroses Well-Known Member

    go through every single thing ive done and find something(s) wrong about it, analyze how it may come back to haunt me, who all it may have hurt, and why others should hate me for it

    keep people as friends when they seem to be lacking what i need to feel like its a real, supportive, and productive friendship


    go online

    distance myself from the world/isolate myself for hours on end on a daily basis
  16. Things

    Things Well-Known Member

    I do the same thing, at least the obsessing parts.

    I still haven't let go some of my mistakes than I when I was a very little kid. :/

    Another thing I keep doing is withdraw my friends, practically hiding from them. I hate it when I do this, but I'm too cowardly to face them.
  17. savetoniqht

    savetoniqht Well-Known Member

  18. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Trusting people:blink:
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