think about it before u read this might not be worth your time

[Insignificant]

i am so uncertain about this i'm not even sure where to begin.

i have been feeling really really good for about two to three months now. oh i have had a couple of times where out of no where wham severe depression hits but usually within a day i've worked my way through it.

i'm afraid this time it's a bit more complicated than that. i always try to help but i am feeling like i am useless. i've also had a flashback today which isn't helping any matters either. i am simply put getting worse and worse and quickly i might add today.

so this is leading me to feeling that maybe i should go away. i'm thinking that maybe it's just better for me to stand back. although be it my nature that i like to help people if i can. no, it is better that i just go away after all this one person i tried to help ended up dead.

i'm sorry if you took the time to read this. maybe you would have been better off if u hadn't. i think it's just time to disappear. please take care

 

[Spearmint]

:hug: :hug:

 

[Terry]

Now then!!! You stop right there!!!!
Since when was people only allowed to be here when they are of help?
You help enough, now if you need support is the time you lean on us.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

 

[Insignificant]

thanks terry i don't want to be a burden. i'm no one to be concerned with anyways. :sorry:

 

[Terry]

PFFT!!! I dont wont to hear any "I'm not worth it" shit. You are no burden and you are as worthy of help, attention and care as the next person....RIGHT!!!

:hug:

 

[Insignificant]

sorry feeling pretty useless and alone atm

 

[Terry]

know how that can be hun :hug:

 

[theleastofthese]

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

lots of love and hugs to help you thru this rough time. You're as worthy as the next person and we all need help from time to time. Sometimes you can give, sometimes we need to give to you - simple as that.:smile:

love,

least

 

[Insignificant]

i'm not sure what kind of help i would need at a time like this. i just get so lost and hopeless and feeling so alone.

 

[Terry]

sometimes an ear can be enough hun....just know we are here u are not alone :hug:

 

[Sa Palomera]

:hug: :hug: :hug: for you

 

[deathiscoming]

Thanks, I needed a hug. When someone is dying no one is real, all they want to do is sorry.

 

[Insignificant]

earlier this year when i was in the state hospital i shared with a friend of mine the method i was considering using to kill myself while i was in there. the very next nite she hung herself according to the same method i had provided. the guilt i feel is overwhelming. oh i've been told if she wanted to do this she would have done it anyways, but somehow this provides no comfort to me. i guess u just had to of been there to know how the guilt stems most. i am having alot of trouble dealing with this atm. this is what is hitting me so hard. i guess you could say this is a primetime example as to why not share methods. it's not worth the pain that follows.

 

[Sa Palomera]

Significant, I know how you feel, I've been walking around with huge feelings of guilt around some people's deaths too and I once shared a selfharm method with someone who now uses the same method. Every day again I try to tell myself that they'd have found a method themselves if I hadn't provided it.

Point is, if someone is dead set on something they will find it anyway. Thats what I try telling myself every day... I know it could be like talking to a brick wall, but please hang in there, hopefully the brick wall will slowly break then

Here if you wanna talk :hug: :hug:

 

[Insignificant]

i am finding i'm falling into the old pattern of wanting to end things. i am just having a terrible time atm.

 

[deathiscoming]

U are not responsible for the death of others. U didn't put the rope around their neck, U didn't make them do it, It wasn't Ur fault. Life is the best thing in the world. It's a short time between now and forever. Get mad, cry and stomp ur feet, get pissed, but don't die. It just will make other who love u want to end their lives to be with u.

 

[Insignificant]

hard to explain there is a part of me that doesn't want to die, but i feel oh it doesn't matter. :sad:

 

[deathiscoming]

it does matter. Look at me, I am dying and there isn't a single thing I can do about it. I thought of suicide, but realized I would miss out on everything good in this world. It's horriable that U had to witness that experiance, but try not to let it get to u. there are lots of people around U that love U dearly
Please try to remember that "time heals all wounds" Now that uve hit bottom, it can only go up from here. Tomorrow will be a better day.

 

[Insignificant]

that is what i thought yesterday. if my kids are gone tonite i'm going to call the crisis line tonite. i don't want them to over hear my conversation and my daughter is nosy so i need her to at least be gone. when i was in the hospital and this happened they tried so much to help me with this in fact they put me on obs because they know it hit me so hard as so it has again. maybe i'm just too sensitive. probably

 

[deathiscoming]

Feeling the hurt of the death of others is perfectly normal. It's called being human. It's how U deal with it that makes the diff. It's not ur fault and never will be. The other person that died was just worse off then u are. U have to will to live, U have to live to be there for ur kids.