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Think I am where I hoped I wouldn't be

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Marillion43, Jun 2, 2013.

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  1. Marillion43

    Marillion43 Member

    I am so in a non existent place and have been there for so long that its caught up with me. The reality is I'm totally alone. I have lost everything . Not by a mistake, not by substances..but by selfishness of others. I once had a full life....people in it.....proud of myself....happy. Life slowly little by little has turned to an absolute lonely, sad and rejected pile of shit of a life. Tired of being in pain everyday....tired of being out of place...tired of being reeled in when someone needs something then spit back out to the dim. Im tired of trying and I'm sick of negativity....lack of any type of support and expected to just give and thats it.

    In a relationship no clue why....after 7 years I could say I'm gonna kill myself now and there would be no reaction....it would be done without concern for me....no family at all....no freinds at all.....and I once had all of that...but I get to face and stare at my debris every day while people go...oh well it happens....well they arent seeing what I'm seeing or feling the realness of what I feel....I don't want to feel like this anymore...I always say to myself....it has to get better...tomorrow could be that day.....but that is being dillusional....I don't want heartache and lonliness and feeling second best I never wanted that and that is exactly what I got.....for no reason..it's real pain and i am so tired....so tired of living it.....
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so sorry you are feeling this way...why do you think people have acted this way? I have often wondered myself...I have friends and some are attentive, but I am struggling with what I am doing to contribute as well...for me, it is because I have more limitations now, so I am not in my past life...what is it for you?...and yes, often times, I say it will get better
  3. Marillion43

    Marillion43 Member

    Thank You for your reply......my limitation has been divorce job loss having to sart a new career path divorce and now financial struggle to the core......but no matter my issue no one even bothers to say how are you doing.....anything i can do......and the problem is that I have done things a million times over for these people and I am very discouraged with life
  4. melbourne90

    melbourne90 Member

    How are you feeling today Maillion43? I hope today you aren't feeling as discouraged with life as you have been.
    A divorce and job loss? Sounds like you have been doing it rough. If you've been helpful to others who aren't reciprocating that to you in your time of need, there could be many reasons for this. Have you reached out to anyone? Even if someone knows of your situation, they might be reluctant to try and discuss it with you and be waiting for you to bring it up with them, after all, these situations can be very sensitive, and many people wouldn't want to talk about it. Are you putting your guard up and not realising it? Were they also good friends with your ex-wife? This is a tricky one as they don't want to upset either of you.

    Good luck finding a new job/career path. The average person will change career paths 7 times in their life. This is an opportunity for something new and exciting!
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