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Think I just needed to get this out.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Jack P, Nov 3, 2013.

  1. Jack P

    Jack P Member

    I'm 19 and I've never had a girlfriend. I've befriended a few girls that I've liked but that's all I ever seem to be. People always ask me if I've got a girlfriend yet and that just makes me realize how pathetic I am, it's not by choice at all. I actually find it hard to be with my friends because it's always with their girlfriends and I just get depressed. I don't have the motivation to do anything anymore, I can't put much effort into anything I do. I've always felt that life isn't worth living without someone to share it with so I guess mine isn't. All I've ever wanted to do is fall in love, as stupid as that sounds.
    I'm sorry for the rant but it felt good to get that off my chest.
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Hello Jack P.
    19 is a good age to focus on education and career; developing the future and setting goals. As you move forward in life (19 is still very young), you will experience much more and meet many new people. As you get older, you'll find others who are more mature and who perhaps share similar interests. Perhaps you'll meet someone at work, on the job, or through one of your hobbies, pass times, or interests. If someone asks why you don't have a girlfriend yet, laugh and say, "I haven't found anyone good enough yet," or something along those lines. Don't let on that it's an issue. It will happen, probably when you don't expect it.
  3. Jack P

    Jack P Member

    Hi, thanks for the advice. I know I'm still young and all that but I just can't seem to get away from it, everything seems to come back to relationships. I guess I just wanna feel normal about it. I try and focus on other things but I swear it's all anyone ever talks about. I've met plenty of great people through work and whatnot but no one's ever interested. I hope you're right though.
  4. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN SF Author

    Hi Jack

    I understand what it feels like when you're single and everyone else seems to have paired up. And it is not stupid sounding at all to say that all you have ever wanted is love - I think that is a fairly basic human desire.

    When you say "nobody is ever interested" I a curious - are you waiting for someone to express an interest in order to move forward? Are you expressing your own interest? It is a generalisation, and likely not true for every girl, but in general women are drawn to happy and confident far more than anything else (smart doesn't hurt either). Sure you might get knock-backs if you ask girls out, but the fact is that if you don't ask girls out, then you are not going to get a date.

    If you genuinely feel depressed and are having issues with motivation and energy levels, please see a doctor. Otherwise - fight past the lethargic lack of motivation and work on your own confidence and socialising - the more social you are the more likely you are to meet someone :)
  5. Jack P

    Jack P Member

    Hi Freya
    Sorry for the late reply, it's been a little while since I've been able to get online. That first bit sounds about right, I think I might be. Although I have expressed an interest in girls before but it never ends well. I usually just end up losing a friend.
    They probably do like confidence and as much as I try to it's hard to fake confidence and even harder to gain it. I'm not even sure how to do that.
    And thanks for the advice but I'm not gonna see a doctor about it, most of my family have spent their entire lives on antidepressants and I will not do that. I'll just have to figure it out for myself.
  6. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I can so relate to that, I didn't have a boyfriend till I was 21. It's better to wait for the right one than just go from relationship to relationship, so don't be so hard on yourself. But I have to say I was the same as you, I thought I was abnormal, and at the time I had bad friends who thought that as well...now of course I'm older I see that they were more miserable than I was with boyfriends they didn't like just so they wouldn't be alone.

    It's not worth it, you deserve a good gf who's with you because she loves you and you love her...and you can have a mutual connection that isn't just sex...

    idk maybe I'm not making sense...I'm rambling...I guess all I wanted to say was that I hear you and don't worry, you will find a great gal, just keep socializing and you'll find her :) you can meet people in the strangest of places so...:)
  7. Jack P

    Jack P Member

    Thanks morning rush, I'm glad I'm I'm not alone in this. You make perfect sense, I can't tell you now much I want to feel like someone could love me back.

    I'll have to keep telling myself that "It's better to wait for the right one than just go from relationship to relationship". I've known quite a few people who have stayed in bad relationships out of fear of being alone as well so that bit made me feel better :)
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Hey Jack, I don't think it's pathetic at all that you haven't had a girlfriend yet. No one has ever been really interested in me before, so I know how lonely it can be. But I'm still not giving up hope on finding the right person, and neither should you. It might even happen when you least expect it.
  9. insiiideouuut

    insiiideouuut Well-Known Member

    I am 24 and still not ever had a boyfriend.

    I guess we both have to be patient and wait. :/