I've been depressed before but never really had a plan, never got really close to offing myself. Now I don't feel much pain at all but I think it's because I've got my big escape route mapped out this time. Got a couple days to myself and I think i can pull this off uninterrupted. I gave myself a few last chances and blew them all. Now there's no point in giving any more chances. Only thing I would be giving myself is more pain. I feel good about this. This is the right thing to do. I don't know why I'm writing this, I guess I just want someone to know what i'm going to do. I just want to do it right when the time comes. If I execute properly, the body might not even be found for a long time. Maybe the animals will eat it. Hopefully no one in the real world will ever know what happened to me. It will be like i never existed. Which is the mostI can ask for at this point. I just hope i do it right.