Think I've got an answer.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by gwalchmei, May 6, 2011.

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  1. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    Kinda figured out how I can deal with all this crap. At least, in a way.
    If I can just get my kids through college and know they are in an OK place; then I can move on. I'm sick of this life. But it at least helps to have a goal.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your kids will always need you hun even when they are adults they will need you I hope you reach out and get some supports so you can be around when the grandchildren come i can tell you my new grandaughter has brought some life back in me hugs
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    How old are your kids?? Are they old enough to sit them down and explain how you are feeling..You will find that they can be very incitefull..You will always be needed.. My daughter is going on thirty and she has all kinds of problems...So being dad I get alot of phone calls.. Some I don't know what to tell her..She hung up on me the other night because she didn't want to hear what I was telling her.. Now she is ignoring me..Kids will be kids.. It's our job to help guide them in the right direction..
  4. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    Thanks, guys. But I guess I'm just too tired of this life.
    I've tried to fill my life with things to do and people to help. But about the only people who I seem to put smiles on the faces of are my kids. Everyone else seems to care less...
    I recently evac'd my family to Anniston - they still had electrical power there, and I have relatives there. I thought it would also be convenient for me to go help out with the relief efforts (from the tornado) in our ancestral home of Webster's Chapel.
    Instead, what happened was this: my grandma bent over to hug my daughter, but instead fell over and broke her hip. Had we not been there, I feel that wouldn't have happened...
    That's just one example of how I have frakked things up. My son was supposed to have a trip to Ireland - however, the school year got extended and the days his trip were going to be on basically now fall within the school year (originally, they were supposed to depart his last day of school). I had too many tardies getting him to school (which count as absences), so now I could end up in the booty-house (jail) for getting my kid to school anywhere from 4 minutes early (which they still count as tardy) to 3 minutes late. AND he won't be able to go on his Ireland trip.
    Just how losery can I be? I wish I could terminate myself. I have let one too many people down. I'm just so tired and I can't seem to pull myself together to do the right thing.
    I wish God would have taken my life all those years ago, during a close scrape I had. The world would have been better.
  5. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    I just really wish I was dead, right now.
  6. gwalchmei

    gwalchmei Well-Known Member

    Just got finished begging God for death.
    Once again, He ignores me.
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