Think of Your Kids!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by loopy, Jan 15, 2011.

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  1. loopy

    loopy Well-Known Member

    I really need to be going soon, I have messed my life up and in a lose lose situation!

    But how do I go without screwing up my kids, how do I ensure they feel no blame for my going? I love them so much It would never be anything to do with them, they are what have saved me in the past!

    If I don't go I will screw up lives, if I do go I risk screwing up their little lives.

    I can't go on living life in Limbo. I really can't.

    I can't keep praying to die from an anxiety induced illness sooner rather than later because it just doesn't happen.

    I love my kids so much, so so much. I don't want them to be like me. I want them to live happy lives.

  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Honestly you can't.

    If you kill yourself it WILL fuck them up. Parents that commit suicide tend to have children that do the same thing.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You would only be passing on sadness pain and yes the inherted disposition of suicide themselves. IF you need help then get it okay call your doctor and get meds changed added get different therapy. You kids will always love you and need you you will not screw up their lives The only way you will do that is by leaving them Depression is treatable okay it is so please call and get help hugs
  4. warrabinda

    warrabinda Well-Known Member

    your act of suicide communicates to your children that they weren't worth sticking around for. regardless of the variables. cold hard truth.
    do you need crisis care?
  5. kote

    kote Account Closed

    my kids are the only reason im still here!!! every day i feel suicidal and feel i cant go on. but i stay in bed, better in bed than dead!!!
    being married to a wonderful woman who lost her father due to sickness - i know how much it fucks things up.
    find a new path please and give your kids an extra big hug tonight!!!
  6. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    Loopy, I struggle with depression and suicide thoughts and the only reason I am still alive are my children. I can't bring myself to inflicting that kind of pain on them. I know it's hard, and I also think sometimes they don't deserve such a mother as myself, uninterested, unmotivated, crying every now and then. I tried to hide it at first but they've realized something's going on and we had an honest talk, I explained to them what depression is (didn't mention suicide thoughts). There are hours, days, sometimes weeks when my only wish is to die, nothing else in my mind all day, but the responsability I feel for them is stronger, it's always somewhere in the back of my mind, the thought how I will ruin their lives if I did it. They didn't ask to be born, I made that decision, so I feel the duty not to make their lives living hell and leave permanent scars on them, at least while they're still with me. Please hang on, try to get some help, talk to someone :console:
  7. xjulesx

    xjulesx Member

    You said if you don't go you will screw them
    up well if you do go you will screw them
    up a whole lot more!!

    My ex has recently killed himself and his kids are already affected and they are all under 7!!!
  8. Killing yourself and leaving your kids behind is a VERY selfish act.. Don't do that.. remember to take a look at my signature.. (not showing off or advertising my sig but asking you to take a look at it because it has got meanings..)
  9. loopy

    loopy Well-Known Member

    Thank you all very much for your replies, I wasn't going to do anything iminantly, was more a work in progress.

    I know it is selfsih but sometimes I figure I am equally gonna screw them up being around??
    My son is already having to have councelling at school something I wholeheartedly beleve is a result of me when I first got depressed and in denial.

    I know Im just being a coward really.

    My kids had lots of huge hugs yesterday.... lots! I tell them I love them every single day.
    They could never say that mom didn't love them!!
  10. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Loopy - what support are you getting? X
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