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Think Positive/Be Confident <----F@*k off

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bigman2232, Apr 10, 2008.

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  1. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    You always here it: It's not about how good you look or how smart you are, etc and etc but about thinking positive and being confident.

    This may have some truth but it sure as hell ain't possible when your entire life is devoid of positives and every time you try to be confident you lose miserably at life again.

    There is not one freaking thing in my life to be happy about.

    And it's nearly impossible to have confidence when time after time after time you are shown how big a loser you are, how much you suck and how no one wants you around.

    So to all the people who are thinking of giving the advice to think positive or have confidence, just stay quiet and do something to give that person something positive or a reason to have some confidence.
  2. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    AMEN to that!!!


    The same fucking message over and over again. Quitters never win, and winners never quit. Step up to the plate. Show em what you got. No pain no gain. Adapt or die. Yeah. All those dumbass sports metaphors from dumbass jocks. They look at life as one big fucking game to be won all the time. Fuck them.
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    Why do you worry what other people think of you? Basing your self-worth on external approval is a recipe for disaster; not everyone is gonna like you and some assholes will do their best to drag you down.

    Is there really not a single positive in your life? Even at my most suicidal there was always something funny happening every day, like the fact that the psych ward is designated with the intials "GF" -- for ground floor -- standard practice in Ireland so that if you jump out the window there's not far to go. Sorry, but that still cracks me up! When I can't find anything good within me I take a moment and become aware of, and appreciate, what's around me, the trees, the twilight on the river, a bird flying past. I know I sound like an old hippy, but I yam what I yam...
  4. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    I don't really care what "people" think of me but I do care what certain individuals think about me. I want that relationship with one special person and I have had enough catastrophes when it comes to trying to find this person that I've lost any confidence I had in the first place. ( I know everyone has rejections but I get more than just rejection).

    And yes, there is not one single positive in my life. No money, no people, no future, no way out. And if there was anything positive my brain makes sure I don't remember it. For some strange reason I can't remember good things but I can remember every bad and stupid thing I have ever done to the most minuscule detail, so that I can live it over and over, wondering why I did it.
  5. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Yeah, fuck this theory, its so not true. I wasnt a quitter, so why do I failed in my life?
  6. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    I cant deny that i have had some succeses in my life, like at work, or at school, but I failed in what I really wanted, because i have no weapon to fight in that field, no mather how much I will try. Its like you are trying to destroy a stealth bomber with your gun.
  7. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. People told me to be confident and positive and people will respond in kind, which is entirely true, they just left out that you need a reason otherwise your act will be seen right through. A small gem of wisdom gained through experience: stop listening to other people who tell you how you should live your life. You are you, no one knows your life, your strengths and your weaknesses, better than you do. Don't even listen to me, go out and experience for yourself, find what works for you and screw up then learn from your failures. A person who listens to other people who tell him how to live his life is destined to a life of emotional instability and constant insecurity. You can write about it all day and all you'll have to show for it is worthless paper, life is too short to sit there and waste time thinking about things you could be out there actually doing.
  8. diseased

    diseased Active Member

    Ok then...be negative and insecure. I'm sure THAT will work much better.
  9. AnomymousX

    AnomymousX Well-Known Member

    Dude, I love you! I thought NO ONE would state this! Same in my case, I live the most boring part of town, all my better friends live in another city, I go to the most stereotypical school on the planet, my parents never trust me, and I couldn't get a girl if I tried. Yeah... Not much to be proud about.
  10. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    "It's not about how good you look or how smart you are, etc and etc but about thinking positive and being confident."

    i used to think this was bullshit too. and now i'm like well whats the alternative? the alternative of course is being a pessimist. and i asked myself well who's more likely to survive, the optimist or the pessimist? the answer is the optimist.

    i wish i could be the optimist. deep inside i think we all want to love ourselves. but i just can't.
  11. LonelyTraveler

    LonelyTraveler Well-Known Member

    Man, this is my kind of thread. All this bullshit about being confident/think happy thoughts/ change the way you feel. All BULLSHIT and they know it. So I hear ya. Fuck all y'all "think you're way out of depression" assholes. Some people's lives weren't meant to be rosy. Don't be a dick and try to make us feel like it's our fault that life didn't go our way. It's not our fault. We didn't want this. We didn't want to feel like we have to die. We wanted to live and be happy.
  12. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    I agree that you cant fake confidence.

    But in the end there is no one to blame except ourselves.
  13. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Yeah, you cant be optimistic if you have nothing that makes you optimistic.
    Optimist is more likely to survive than pessimist, also true, but does the pessimist want to survive?
  14. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    No one wants to die. Everyone is wishing a long and happy life. But sometimes that is not possible. Its very rare, yeah, but we are the minority that doesnt want to live, we are not the ones who want to die, we just dont want to live.
  15. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    We can not blame ourselves for something for we are not guilty. You can blame yourself if you can do something to change it, but you are not doing. And also you can not blame no one else. Its no ones fault. Its just the way it is, its just the way it should be. We have to accept that, and if we can, we have to live with that, if we cant live with that, then, there is only one solution...
  16. peacegirl

    peacegirl Well-Known Member

    Bigman, where is your life devoid of positives? Unless you explain what this means, no one can even begin to address whether your gripes are justified.
  17. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    Hell ya ill drink to that
  18. nedflanders

    nedflanders Well-Known Member

    Sure, but that doesn't make it sting less when the normals tell you to keep your chin up.
  19. Melmoth the Wanderer

    Melmoth the Wanderer Well-Known Member

    I like this thread.

    I think the whole "be positive, be confident" thing came from the pushers of the "American Dream" (I'm looking at you, Horatio Alger, you bastard). It's the belief that if you try hard enough, you will succeed. That makes no sense. For example, we can't ALL be president: for one thing, there's just too many people competing for the same job; for another, we can't ALL be millionaires with nothing better to do than to raise money and make speeches. Think about other positions and achievements. When there's so much competition, most of us are going to fail, even when we try repeatedly and to the best of our abilities.

    People who say "be positive, be confident" don't believe in reality, however. They want the Dream--usually, they or their parents already have it (why are people in the upper and upper-middle classes usually the most "positive" and "happy"? Because they've rarely been stepped on, while the other people who earn less money are stomped on everyday).

    That being said, although we may be doomed to fail, we always have a choice about how to look at our failure.

    Sorry to rant. I apologize if I insulted anyone.

    As for happiness, it's always been brief and sporatic in my life. I don't believe in prolonged happiness, mostly because I do believe in something called the human condition. No one can escape the horrors of life (am I quoting that from someone? :unsure: I honestly don't know).

    Do you think I'm a bit depressed, or just cynical as usual? It's so hard to tell the difference sometimes.
  20. Bigman2232

    Bigman2232 Well-Known Member

    You want the details? Fine I'll give you some details.

    I literally only have 20 dollars in my wallet and that is it. I am $35000 in debt. I am tanking school which I am honestly learning nothing in anyways but I can't quit because I can't afford to pay back my loans that become active if I stop school. I have no idea what I will do once I have finished my degree since it gives no teachings towards an actual job.

    I'm 23 and still live at home with my mother on a futon, not even having my own room. My mom just filed bankruptcy so she can barely afford to pay the bills and I can't help because with all of the education I have I can't get a fucking job because I don't have a connection to get in.

    I get to watch all the people I've known at school (very few still talk to me) for the last 4 years graduate and move off to their great careers while I get to stay back for another year by myself.

    Told a very close friend, for the last 4 years, that I had feelings for her and have now been completely ignored and avoided at all costs. That makes it 2 for 2 since the same thing happened the last time.

    And on top of all the disasters that are my life I get to watch my cousins and younger sister have the world given to them because they are willing to care about themselves only and because they look good. It's always nice watching everyone else have relationships, there own place and the job and money they want.

    Alone, broke and too smart and independent for my own good

    So are my gripes justified?
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