Think you don't matter....ashes_away and the power of reaching out.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Bambi, Jul 17, 2009.

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  1. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Let me all tell you a story that is like the thread in crisis forum, the thread at the top about the power of friendship. If you have not read that thread please do because if you are suicidal your perspective it thrown off right now because of your intense pain and you just might make a really bad choice that can not be changed

    A short time ago I was in a really bad place and ready to commit. Like many of you there was some part of me that desperately wanted to live but could not and would not with the pain and how I saw my future.

    I went to a different website and posted. I am not even sure why I posted at all, I really do not but I did.

    I went there as I could not bear posting here on SF and taking the chance that the closest thing I have to a family and the only place where I have friends would not understand me or be able to help me see. That may not make sense to you but I think we all have felt why do I even bother posting as surely nothing is really going to help.

    Well someone I barely knew reached out, someone I had reached out weeks before and had remembered me, replied to my thread. This kind soul kept writing to me that night and when I shut down and was ready just throw it all she sent one last post that just touched me so deeply inside I just cried uncontrollably and could not even reply. That post of hers opened up a part of me that I can't quite explain, maybe it allowed me to see that there was some good in me to hang on, that someone thought me worthy of at least trying to save or just the fact that my heart was touched and I felt connected to someone...regardless of exactly what happened inside it changed how I felt and I am here today.

    What I plead and beg each and every one of you is to please, please post or PM when your in crisis - it may just be that final act that saves your life and changes so much. And please read the thread about friendship in the Crisis Forum today and when your in pain.

    And for those of you who don't reply to posts because you think you surely your caring does not matter or that you could not possibly have an impact - think again because you are dead wrong. Hell send a poem or as this person did a song. Yeah the simple act of sending me a song stopped me from committing suicide, probably sounds silly to you but that night is sure as hell was not silly to me. So next time you think you can't possibly make a difference reach out and you will see that your caring does matter a great deal.

    Your here at SF and you may not know it or believe it but there is someone here that cares, actually many that care, so please let us know how you are feeling so we can be there for you. After all you have nothing to lose if you are feeling like I was.

    And to ashes_away who reached out to me that dark night and changed my world...
  2. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    ((( hugs)) can't :love:
  3. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    You made me cry if you recall. I hope members read this as I really feel strongly about reaching out and hope my story, our story, shows members that help out there and too that replying to those hurting really helps-it does.
    Sorry if the song as not that great..I looked and looked..I am very indecisive.
    Love ya B
  4. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    best possible song.And you are so right about everything you said.I am a little at a loss for touched.
  5. confuzzle

    confuzzle Well-Known Member

    I won't say thats exactly how I felt, but B, the word relate was enough to have me stick around at least one more day.

    Thank you so much for being there, and yeah, friendship is a powerful support! This is a really good post.
  6. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I am glad you stuck around!

    There is a patten I am picking up on
    ...ashes_away....InNeedOf...Confuzzle ....InNeedOf...

    I could demonstrate a few patterns that are very similar as I have been touched by many here but ashes_away was there when I was so ready!! I had it all poured and ready. Ya just never know..
  7. triggs

    triggs Account Closed

  8. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey all, I posted this a while back and well it was about ashes and about all of you guys on SF. I really mean when I say that I care and that I hope you all reach out when your in pain.

    ashes_away has given so much in the short time she has been here and so have many many of you all so please don't ever think you don't matter.

    I guess this is my way of saying ashes_away please don't hurt yourself and everyone here on SF I care and want to help. Sorry but I am crying right now cuz I am worried about ashes_away..

    Love to all of you B
  9. ashes_away

    ashes_away Well-Known Member

    did you get my pm hon? I am fine.Really.Please read my all get a little drunk and need to vent.oops.please read my pm.:huh:
  10. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Yes I did and we all get drunk, we all get stupid and we all hurt it is all okay.
    I love you all here and glad that we have a place to post so we can get and give support.

    I texted my brother one night that "I do not have the strength anymore " and he texted back "Than use my strength" so to all of you and to ashes_away I may not have much but you can use what i have and the strength of others too...
    love you all!!!
  11. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Amazing post.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    sounds like ashes away is feeling better. im glad
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