I was doing really well up until a few days ago... I mean sure, i had thought about killing myself but never to the extent i was goin to do it. that was until last Monday.... I dont know what it was...i just broke down. My dad wasnt home...as usual..so i just did it. i ran to the kitchen grabbed the sharpest knife i could and was about to cut my arm open, when i realised i was wrkin and would have to wear a shirt...so i cut my leg instead......Thats one of the first times iv done it anywher else other than my arm? I was soo scared because i had consciously thought "im goin to cut myself but in order to hide it from others i have to do it somewher else on my body".....normally when i cut myself thers adrenaline pumpin and im not really thinkin about it..but on monday i was. and it made me realise hw much i do want to die.... So iv came up with a plan...im goin out this sunday with some friends and the general idea is that we will get a little drunk and have a laugh. But im scared of what i will do...every night since monday i have lay awake staring at my window....and seeing as i live a few levels up, which is quite high, im sure u will all know what i was thinkin about.... Iv actually started writing goodbye notes and plannin who im goin to phone before i do it?..Im terrified that the drink will give me a little courage to jump from my window????? please help? i have no idea what 2 do? i dont know what to say to anyone?