It's not doing me much good anyway. I'm in treatment for social anxiety right now and I've been lying about my suicidal thoughts for a few years. Went in about 4 years ago, but after a while I started pretending that I was getting better so my mom wouldn't know what was really going on. For a while I thought I was actually getting better, but I haven't made much progress and I'm losing my motivation to keep going. Too afraid to die and not enough willpower to try and get better so I think I'm just going to rot away until I get up the courage to go through with it. Has therapy helped anyone else? I know it won't help me if I keep resisting, but I'm tired of trying.