I"m thinking about letting myself go tonight..Whenver I think about killing myself, I talk to my sister and she normally gives me a reason to save myself from hell..but If I have a nervous breakdown tonight..I might lose my mind and commit suicide..I don't really want to commit suicide because I don't want to go to hell..but when I'm feeling this depressed, you know..I WANT TO KILL MYSELF AT THIS TIME THOUGH..THE MAN I LOVE DOESN'T LOVE ME BACK, SO I MUST DIE, MAYBE THAT WILL MAKE HIM HAPPY BECAUSE HE OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T LIKE THAT IM IN LOVE WITH HIM!! SO ILL JUST DIED, IF HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO DIE THAT BADLY, HE WOULD LOVE ME AND MARRY ME, OR TELL ME HE WANTS TO BE WITH ME!! THE LOVE WOULD BE AS INTENSE FOR ME AS MINE IS FOR HIM..SO IM GOING TO GO AND LISTEN TO SOME DEPRESSING SONGS TO PROVOKE ME TO DO SO, ....:unsure:
Thinking about dieing tonight
- Thread starter ShalenaM
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NO, I CAN'T! I LIKED HIM FOR 3 YEARS NOW!!
IM KINDA OBSESSED!! AND PEOPLE WHO ARE OBSESSED MOSTLY CAN'T SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!! AND I CAN'T!! HE'S PERFECT!! WHAT IS MEANT TO BE NEVER HAPPENS!! I HATE THIS..!! HE BELONGS WITH ME AND TO ME!! NO ONE ELSES!!!! IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF...WELL THEN..I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG TO GET MY HANDS ON A GUN TO KILL HIM!! SO I WILL HAVE TO KILL MYSELF..IT IS WORTH..I CAN'T FUNCTION EVERYDAY WITHOUT THINKIN OF HIM!! EVERY THOUGHT AND EVERY WORD IS ABOUT HIM!! MIGHT AS WELL DIE!! THAT WILL GET RID OF ALLL THE THOUGHTS ABOUT HOWARD!!!!:dry:
IM KINDA OBSESSED!! AND PEOPLE WHO ARE OBSESSED MOSTLY CAN'T SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!! AND I CAN'T!! HE'S PERFECT!! WHAT IS MEANT TO BE NEVER HAPPENS!! I HATE THIS..!! HE BELONGS WITH ME AND TO ME!! NO ONE ELSES!!!! IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF...WELL THEN..I CAN'T WAIT THAT LONG TO GET MY HANDS ON A GUN TO KILL HIM!! SO I WILL HAVE TO KILL MYSELF..IT IS WORTH..I CAN'T FUNCTION EVERYDAY WITHOUT THINKIN OF HIM!! EVERY THOUGHT AND EVERY WORD IS ABOUT HIM!! MIGHT AS WELL DIE!! THAT WILL GET RID OF ALLL THE THOUGHTS ABOUT HOWARD!!!!:dry:IM NOT MATURE! IM OBSESSED! AND I WON'T LIVE WITHOUT HIS LOVE ANYMORE! IM SORRY, DISSING ME, CALLING ME PSYCHO, WATEVER WILL NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT I REALLY AM! HE'S NOT JUST A GUY..HE'S HOWARD..LIVING IS WORST THAN SITTING HERE AND SUFFERING LIKE THIS AND MAKING HIM MISERABLE BY TELLING HIM I LOVE HIM..HE'S TOO BUSY CAUGHT UP IN SELLING HIS GUITARS, HE DOESN'T CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND HOW SERIOUS I AM..AND IM NOT GOING TO TELL HIM..
<mod edit Jenny - unsupportive> Look add me on msn [email protected].... We can talk okay?
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It must be hard because all you can see is him. But that is dangerous because your soo obsessed with him. Sometimes actions speak louder than words. His actions indicate he may not like you as much as you like him or that he's afraid of the age difference. He's probably protecting you from hurting yourself and wasting your life.
Trust me, i'm pretty sure you will meet other guys and have boyfriends. It only takes on person to change your world and if a guy in the future does that then you will be saying how amazing he is, etc.
Try to see beyond Howard.
Trust me, i'm pretty sure you will meet other guys and have boyfriends. It only takes on person to change your world and if a guy in the future does that then you will be saying how amazing he is, etc.
Try to see beyond Howard.
Shalena, I understand
Dear Shalena:
I know what it's like to love someone who doesn't love you back because the same thing is happening to me. I know it doesn't help when people tell you "don't worry, you'll find someone else", "think past Howard", "there are many other men", etc. and blah, blah, blah. They don't get it. I get it. I know the pain you are in. I don't have any advice for you, unfortunately (if I did, I'd use it myself). But I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, that someone understands what you're going through. I'm "obsessed", too.
Ld
Dear Shalena:
I know what it's like to love someone who doesn't love you back because the same thing is happening to me. I know it doesn't help when people tell you "don't worry, you'll find someone else", "think past Howard", "there are many other men", etc. and blah, blah, blah. They don't get it. I get it. I know the pain you are in. I don't have any advice for you, unfortunately (if I did, I'd use it myself). But I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, that someone understands what you're going through. I'm "obsessed", too.
Ld
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