Ideas & Opinions Thinking about it.

[bwomblegh]

I’m considering suicide. I just don’t want any of my family members to find me first if I succeed, so I’m not sure where to do it. And yes, I do think this is the only way. I’m going to fail school for the second time and it’s clear that my parents are already just disappointed in me or don’t want anything of me anymore. I don’t think they’d love me unless I’ve achieved something but with everything going on in my head I don’t think it’s possible, so it’d be better if they didn’t have to deal with this. I’ve developed depression and an eating disorder toward the middle to end of my Sophomore year. I’ve tried to vent it somewhat to my friends but in the end I don’t want to involve these things in my friends’ lives; they have their own lives to live and if I interfere it’ll just make it hard for them. I also haven’t been in contact with almost all of them. Other than that, I’ve tried reaching out to my school counselor, we talked about therapy but I think she forgot to make the call. I don’t want to ask again, I’ve already asked for too many things before that, so I don’t think it’s fair to ask again. Plus, I don’t think my parents would agree. I tried to mention it to my mom but she’s a nurse and she said doctors only give you medication. With all of these things considered, I don’t think I have a choice. I feel trapped. I feel like I’ve already wasted my life and if I’m not good for anything, it’s a clear sign to end it.

 

[Przym]

Don't live for your parents, or their approval of anything.

Live for you, and what you want out of life.

Is it their mental health and well-being, or is it yours?

Pursue therapy. Are you on your parents' insurance?

Maybe you can just make the appointment yourself, and put down whatever insurance they have.

It's worth a try.

 

[may71]

Sorry that you're going through this @bwomblegh

And yes, I do think this is the only way.

That's the thing that suicidal people have in common. Usually it's not the case though.

I’m going to fail school for the second time and it’s clear that my parents are already just disappointed in me or don’t want anything of me anymore

There's lots of people who have problems in school but who go on to lead worthwhile lives. It may seem like the end of the world, but it's not.

I’ve developed depression and an eating disorder toward the middle to end of my Sophomore year

The link in my signature can connect you to some information about treatment methods.

I’ve tried reaching out to my school counselor, we talked about therapy but I think she forgot to make the call. I don’t want to ask again, I’ve already asked for too many things before that, so I don’t think it’s fair to ask again

If you're in danger of suicide attempt, or even just feeling really bad, this is something that the school counselor should take seriously and respond to. It's not asking too much to ask her to do her job.

she said doctors only give you medication

A medical doctor may only prescribe medication, but a therapist is different than a doctor. A therapist will probably provide some form of talk therapy.

I feel like I’ve already wasted my life and if I’m not good for anything, it’s a clear sign to end it

I don't think that's true at all. You probably have problems that can be addressed, and you can go on to live a life that you find worthwhile.

Sending hugs

 

[Sunspots]

Hi @bwomblegh

I'm sorry things feel so dark at the moment but I'm glad you've found us.

I’m going to fail school for the second time and it’s clear that my parents are already just disappointed in me or don’t want anything of me anymore. I don’t think they’d love me unless I’ve achieved something but with everything going on in my head I don’t think it’s possible, so it’d be better if they didn’t have to deal with this

My son failed his A levels twice which meant he couldn't go to university. I must admit, I was disappointed but not with him. It was disappointing seeing the situation he was in. But he found his own way and I'm soooo proud of him for not giving up. School's not for everyone but there are other ways to get to where you want to be.

I’ve tried to vent it somewhat to my friends but in the end I don’t want to involve these things in my friends’ lives; they have their own lives to live and if I interfere it’ll just make it hard for them.

How would you feel if your friend was in the same position as you? You'd want to help right? Do you not think they'd feel the same?

I’ve tried reaching out to my school counselor, we talked about therapy but I think she forgot to make the call. I don’t want to ask again, I’ve already asked for too many things before that, so I don’t think it’s fair to ask again.

It's her job. She gets paid to do it. If nobody asks her for help she won't have a job. Sometimes people forget to do something, there's no harm in giving them a gentle reminder.
If she was talking about therapy, that's different from medication. Therapists generally don't do the medication side of things, that would normally come from a doctor.

I hope you keep on talking to us here