Thinking about it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by RiN, Oct 15, 2007.

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  1. RiN

    RiN New Member

    How do I start off.

    Since I was little, my whole family pretty much didn't have much communication with me. Sure there was some but hardly any to get me to talk much. I had no childhood fun. It was all education, education and more education. When I got a B or lower, I was disciplined.

    During my teens, I had no social skills, thus, I had no friends (still don't). Call me a loner. I became depressed. Felt like killing some people and committing suicide.

    Then my family suddenly moves to a new state just as I thought things could get better for me. Let me tell you, nothing has helped me since I got here. I've been working about 70 hours a week because I really have nothing else to do. I'm now 19 and still a loner. I don't know how I survived through those years but now I just feel like doing it.

    Also, I hardly even speak now, let alone to my family. I use to have a religion which I lost faith in, because it was such bullshit. Made me do things I didn't want to. Everything just keeps going downhill...

    Well, I think I'm going to go ahead with it....
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 15, 2007
  2. Blackness

    Blackness Guest

    hey RiN
    Wanna talk?
    I know how shit moving is....
  3. RiN

    RiN New Member

    sure, but I doubt anything that you say will help me out.
  4. stealth

    stealth Member

    i feel ya man..................Its like a vicious cycle you cant get out of my only problem is the feeling of guilt and how killing myself would impact my family ..............that and it would need to be painless........the only painless way I can think of doing it would be to od off heroin.........shit i did it once before ..........maybe i just need to do a little more because im almost convinced my suffering will never end unless im the one that does...................its sad, and its scary , but its how i feel.....................:sad:
  5. Lennie

    Lennie Well-Known Member

    The impact of my family is the single most important factor in me not being able to do it. I wish I was more selfish, or my family didn't love me because it would be so much easier.
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