Been thinking about it for a while, but lately been really considering ending myself. I figured the best way. I used to cut myself when I was a teenager, but that doesn't seem enough now. I'm 43 with 2 young kids and a husband who is leaving me. MIL took the kids last night so I don't even have them to live for anymore. My daughter loves me, she's 4. She is who I'm hanging on for. But now that Gramma has her, there is nothing left. I've been a horrible person, I've gambled for the past 2 years and lost everything. And I mean everything. Our house is being foreclosed and I've pawned my car and wedding ring. I've lied so many lies that I can't keep them straight. My husband tried to help, but after I pawned my ring to cover another lie, he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I don't blame him. My thought is to end it painlessly, with no possibility of messing up. I can't afford to end up in the hospital after a botched attempt. Jumping off a bridge seems like there would be no way to survive, but I need to get there to do it. Poison is out of the question. I remember seeing a dog dying from poison and it was slow and painful. Don't own a gun. There is one more thing that seems will work, but I could mess it up and end up worse off, if things could possibly be worse. Anyway, I'm just rambling. I need to do something soon because I'm about to be homeless. I guess I'm hoping someone has bright ideas.