Lately I have been thinking suicide and here is why. (Long and morbid life story) I guess I should start with some background.First of all, I wasn't exactly a "planned" baby and my parents bailed on me early.I ended up in foster care and then with my nan.My adolescence wasn't quite that bad. Then again I feel I missed out extremely by not having either parent. My mom was on drugs and my dad just didn't give a s*** about anybody but himself. He never even signed the birth certificate. My mom was not equipped to be a parent and after a few years foster service stepped in. After that happened she never really made much attempt to get me back. She was drug addicted then and 15 years later I can only assume she is still drug addled. My dad was not a drug addict just kinda a scumbag. He had 5 kids with multiple females and I am one of them. He never took care of any of us, I just know that I have a bunch of half siblings out there that I never speak to. Basically he never really cared about anyone but himself and that's about it. He never once has tried to establish contact with me and never payed a dime of child support on any of us. His whereabouts are unknown. Anyway,I was placed in foster care for approximately 2 years and it was a bit wild. No child wants to be taken from his biological parents if it could be helped, but my mom was totally unfit to be a parent and I agree with their decision. Foster care was not that great.They were a bit overbearing and I do not look back on them with fondness. Later my Nan adopted me and that was good.Things were pretty good until maybe middle school.Middle school and high school I was not too fond of. Needless to say I dropped out by 10th grade and got my general equivalency.I had a few acquaintances in high school but never reestablished contact after dropping out. After high school everybody ended up moving off. Going to college or getting jobs or moving.In those 3 years all their lives changed and I became forever alone. After highschool I was never really motivated to do anything.My Nan is (80+) years old and can't be bothered with anything.She doesn't really seem concerned with any of my problems.Basically my whole family is broke including her.Typically 80+ year olds are retired but she still cuts hair 3 days a week. She gets nothing else but Social Security.That has supported us for almost 10 years.She wants to retire. In 3 years I have done barely anything.I am no longer a teenager however I still feel like one. I never was successful in getting a job or any type of work experience. I tried unsuccessfully for a few months yet couldn't. I eventually gave up.I would really like to blame the recession for my problem getting a job but that is a flimsy excuse.Why lie, I just totally gave up on getting any type of employment and it feels bad. I have no friends from highschool and no friends at all. I suppose I never felt having friends was important but now I think it is crucial. I also tried getting my drivers license unsuccessfully 5 times. It sucks when you have no friends and your Nan has to teach you how to drive. I do not think I will ever get the experience needed to pass the test. I feel horrible being 4 years behind all the other kids. I live in an extremely rural place and 99% of kids have there license and a car at this point.It sucks that I am thinking about getting my license right now while other kids my age are talking about moving out! I do not realistically see how I am supposed to move out. My big problem is my Nan is getting really old and I don't have any other family at all. I have not been in contact with either of my parents since I was 5. I do know that they both have other kids with other partners and that they are both broke and don't care for me. My foster parents whereabouts are unknown as well,not that I would consider living with them again. A few months ago I filed for disability for bipolar disorder. Which I have been diagnosed with,however I do not think that I will get disability either. Everything just feels so futile.At first it hurts when things do not go your way,than you give up and then you don't care. I do not have the money to afford college either. My whole family is poor not just my Nan. I am at the point where I don't know what to do with my life.I am not motivated to work. I ran out of my anxiety medicine a few months ago.We are not insured either. We cannot really afford a doctor's visit either. Sometimes I think about suicide.I would probably not do it but then again maybe. I felt really bad when failing my drivers test the 5th time.I started drinking after that. The place I live is so rural that I must have applied to every fast food place in town, but I gave up. My Nan doesn't have anything helpful too say.I think she is starting with Alzheimer's. I am pretty much always either bored or depressed. I know that nothing will change after posting this but at least It still feels good too vent.I don't see how I will ever have a normal life without parents. Advice?