Thinking about suicide

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Talia862, Aug 19, 2011.

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  1. Talia862

    Talia862 Well-Known Member

    This post has to short because my hands are killing me- I have RA, even though I'm only in my 30s and the arthritis is killing me. I am in so much pain. Normally, I have software that types for me when I speak, but its not working. I have been through a major ordeal with my computer. I brought it back five times to teh guy to fix. I want to bring it somewhere else, but my know-it-all father, who I depend on to transport it as I don't have a car, insists on this guy. He just doesn't want to admit he is wrong in the place he chose. Now I have to bring it back again. A hacker took over my facebook and all my email accounts and locked me out of them,then harassed my friends for money for days. I finally had to set up a new email address, and I lost all these files and all my contacts. I am really upst because I don't now how to get i touch with some of those people.

    My dad is really emotionaly abusive and I wouldn't want to be around him esxcept that I need him for transportation. I have no friends in the area, and my mom, who is ok, works full time. My sister hates my guts and treats me like garbage and would'nt spit on me to put me out if I was burning in flames. I hate to say it but its true. We dont' get along at alll, and I don't know why she can't stand me so much but she wont' talk to me unless its an insult, and has made snide remarks about my sucide attempts.My dad tells me every day hnow much he wishes he was "free of me" and that I would "go away" this to smeone who has made repated suicide attempts over the past few years. Now I have to deal with him again and I don't know if he will be willing to bring the computer even though its clearly the guys fault that he didnm't fix it and not my fault.

    The other day I was so ready to commit suicide that I xxxxxxxxxxx. I came extremely close to doing it, went through all the preperations, but was interrupted by the phone - it was my friend and she convinced me not to do it, she was so upset and concerned I couldn't bring myself to do it and hurt her. But I want to do it now

    My hand s are going to be hurting for a long time bc I wrote this. I dont know waht to do. I feel so alone and upset.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 19, 2011
  2. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Welcome, Talia.

    I read everything you wrote. Thanks so much for taking the time to type out that post. I understand how hard that is for you. :hug:

    And... I look forward to hearing what others have to say in this thread. ;)

    With gratitude,

    Mr. A
  3. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    I know the software you mean - well there are few different ones - Dragon Naturally Speaking is a good one - think its the top one actually - do you need a copy of this? If so - PM me.

    Or let me know what software you use.

    I fix computers - lots of guys out who are cowboys! I either fix a computer or not - first time. Never comes back - plus I doa lot of work for free as people are struggling right now.

    Software is easy to install - actually what you ought to do is go to your control panel - then 'add and remove' programmes - remove the software but KEEP the settings (all the words you had to speak into the microphone to teach the software your voice's nuances) You can try to repair the software (an option when you choose to remove it) or uninstall the software and then reinstall it again. You should have a disc - and a serial number (or something to make it work) This software is VERY expensive - and depending were you are - you might be able to get help - I mean off the government - if they can spare the cash they spend on killing people!

    Let me know what you use - don't worry so much! And do NOT think of suicide - we will fix the computer instead and get your hands feeling better.

    I know people who suffer like you - and I've installed software so they can type using their voice.

    Do you have the microphone - I assume you do.

    I mean the one that fits on your head - and you just speak into it - a flexible microphone.

    Don't worry so much - I know all about this!

    You actually found the right man here - I mean the 'right man' to fix a computer or advise over software.

    So - ask away.
  4. Talia862

    Talia862 Well-Known Member

    Wow. Thank you so much! I think its something wrong with the settings. I have Dragon, I got the newest version just a week or two ago- it WAS pretty expensive but my grandmother gave me the money as a gift and I was very grateful...anyway, it worked just fine until I brought the computer in to the shop and got the memory wiped. He had to do that because as I said a hacker had taken over teh computer with a virus. So when I got it hom e and tried to reinstall dragon, it installed fine but then I hooked up my microphone and did the sound check.

    That didn't work. It said "microphone volume is too low" and then "sound quality check failed." It said "microphone may be improperly plugged in (but its plugged in the the way it always is, color to color) (yes, I have a mike that you wear on yoru head- it came with the software) or, the message said, "you have the wrong sound device." it said I could "change the sound device" but I dont' know how to do that. I have a sound card but I don't know why it isnt' working when it worked fine before the computer was all reset. I think some setting is wrong, but I don't know what to do.

    Thanks so much for your support. Even if you cant't help me, it means a great deal to me that you'd try.
  5. Anneinside

    Anneinside Well-Known Member

    I am assuming this is Windows OS. I mainly work with XP so I'll suggest a possibility. Some hardware, like a microphone, could need a small program called a driver. In XP you right click on My Computer and go down to properties. On the tabs at the top, click on Hardware and then on that window click on devices button (I on an apple so I can't check the button label). Look to see if there are any yellow question marks... you may be missing a driver for your sound card/integrated device. You would have to search on the internet for a driver to make it work.
  6. Talia862

    Talia862 Well-Known Member

    hmm. I have windows 7, acutually. When I went to "control panel" and 'hardware" and clicked on the microphone "properties" it said that "This device is working properly" it also said that for my sound card. I'm totally confused.

    Fortunately, my mom worked on my dad and they agreed to take the computer, so I just have to hold off til next week. I feel so alone and deprssed though, and it hurts so much to type. I wish I could handle the pain better.

    Thanks for trying to help
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