Thinking about the past.........

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Random, Jun 21, 2009.

  1. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Did you ever hurt someone (emotionally) without really meaning to?

    I was just thinking back to a relationship I had with probably the only girl who ever really loved me. It was way back in the 90s. We worked together and someone told me she liked me. I didn't have anything better to do so I asked her out and we started dating.

    At some point, I thought I loved her. I really did. But I'm a passionate person and sometimes I get caught up in the moment and I say things I regret.

    Then one day I realized I didn't love her and I didn't know what to do. She kept trying to get close to be and I kept running away because I didn't know how to tell her or what to say. So I ended up just moving away. I know I hurt her and I've felt bad about it ever since. The worst part is that like I said, she was probably the only female who ever really loved me in a romantic way. It could have never worked because I'm a loner at heart but I just wish I hadn't let her believe it could. I don't really know how strong her feelings were but I know how I felt the first time I got dumped.

    It's so crazy when I say I didn't mean to do it because I didn't and yet it felt like I had no choice.
  2. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    Been in your exact same situation, only it was in a full-blown relationship. I can totally relate with you my friend. It's a damn haunting feeling, that's for sure.
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member

    Ah the great vexation of love: to only be loved by those we don't want. Don't feel too bad about it. Rejection is part of the world and that woman may have been hurt by you--in the future perhaps you can take this experience and be more tactfull in the future-- but remember that she's been rejected before and will be rejected again.

    It's not all so pessimistic. By rejecting her you let her go out and find somebody who loves her. Rejection always smarts. Doesn't matter if you're rejecting somebody or they you.
  4. WishICould

    WishICould Well-Known Member

    9 yrs ago I told my wife (to whom I had only been married to for about 6 months) I was going out to calm down after a small argument.

    I moved 2500 miles away without a word said to her.

    I returned 8 months later and have never contacted either her or our daughter. My family don't want to know me either - now who can blame them.

    My little 2 year old would now be 11. I have no idea where she is now and recent internet searches have proved futile. Don't think I will try finding her through any of her family (a punch in the nose often offends and hurts).
  5. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    I remember saying something really hurtful to my younger stepsister a long time ago when she accused me(correctly) of faking sickness to skip school. It was one of those things that you wish you could take back the second it leaves your mouth but the damage is already done and the look on the other person's face just makes you feel like complete garbage. It happened a long time ago and I don't remember if I ever made peace with her, she died a few weeks later and it's something I'll have to take with me to the grave.