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Thinking of all the ways in which you could...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by manicmuse12, Mar 22, 2011.

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  1. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    Gosh, for the first time in ages i really thought long and hard about all the ways i could kill myself :( must of got to about 20 before i got off the bus, <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods> was my top pick, good chance of getting it right with the cars coming over my body!
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2011
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    The only problem with that is you would ruin someone elses life from hitting you..Why don't you make a list of why you should live..I guarantee it will be alot harder..
  3. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    I agree with both Stranger1's points.

    Don't make someone else do it :no:

    you have no idea how devastating it is. Simply to witness human death in a compassionate way is difficult enough, and for those of us who have witnessed or heard the sound of death of a stranger. friend, or relative at their own hand (or not), this too will tear a life apart. It's so traumatic and scarring. Sights, sounds, smells, images, that never leave. That never ever will go away. The person will be haunted for life, good chance anyway. No one should be put in a position to be the one take someone out, nor should they be forced to witness it.

    Good place to start is what Stranger1 says; can you come up with a list of reasons why you could stick around a bit?

    Feeling pretty low today? Anything happening that is messing with your heart or head?

    **gentle hug** left for you if you need it
  4. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    Thanks peeps :) doing the bridge thing would be stupid i know! there's no need to bring other's into what im planning or hurt them too, about the list! there's no good points to put on it so i wont even try! there's so much bad shit in my life i cant help but feel like this, and my mum has some very strong <Mod edit, WildCherry: Methods> that i've been told do the trick if you take about 20 but i dont want any pain, i just want it to be quick.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2011
  5. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    What's going on?

    Can you give an attempt at talking?

    What has you down? What are you feeling other than the suicidal feelings?
  6. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    it's a lot of things that have all rolled into one! my long term girlfriend and soulmate doesn't love me anymore who i just couldn't live without, im about £20,000 in debt, i lost my job which i loved, i have no real friends i can turn to and my family is totally fucked up and loads more other stuff! i know you're gonna say something like "many people have it worse than you" and i know that, but also i cant help feeling i want to end this pain and end my life :(
  7. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Naw, not me...not going to say that b.s.

    i just thought perhaps engaging in some convo might stall you, might help, might let you know someone cares enough to listen, might help you see things clearer (sometimes it can help), just....you see. people here really do care and will listen.

    I understand that feeling. A lot of folks here do. I'm feeling it strongly right now too, struggling to hang in there, and not really sure why bother to hang in there. I know in a certain number of hours i am going to be in torturous amounts of pain...why would i want to stick around for that?

    Sounds like you have a lot of crap going on and no one to lean on or talk too. Not good to be alone with that stuff. Good to be here talking though. I'm glad you are still with us.

    Seems you have so much going on which would leave one overwhelmed with all sorts of feelings.

    **gentle hug** you can take it or leave it.

    I'll keep listening if you keep talking...
  8. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    thanks kali, i'll take you're hug lol :) i think the main problem is with my gf, i joined a dating style chat site which she found out, i know it was wrong but i never cheated on her and we tried to make it work but alas she couldn't forgive or trust me anymore and we lost that spark "find somebody else, plenty more fish in the sea" people may say, but she was my whole world and still is! i'd give my life to save her! and with all the other stuff too, it's hard having nowhere to turn apart from here.
  9. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Fuck, man, I attempted suicide a month after my "soul mate" broke up with me, when I was 17. It's really freaking tempting to kill yourself to stop the pain of loss, but you fuck yourself if you attempt suicide, too. It's no fun failing, and there's always the risk of permanent damage because of a botched suicide attempt.

    Girls are stressful. Trust me, I know. I'm still dealing with an ex. Even thinking about her makes me feel an awful sadness. It sucks hardcore, but it's still better to find an alternative to suicide to deal with it. Do you have access to any counseling services that can help give you some perspective on your whole situation?
  10. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    aww, i take it you've tried everything with her? She is totally opposed to reconsidering? Have you maintained a friendship with her, will she allow that much?

    Poor timing with all the stuff going on for you, when you need her most.
  11. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    i think she wants to be friends in the sense that we can say hello if we pass on the street :( im 28 now and i know she was the one! the one i wanted to grow old with, and we had so much in common :( its messing me up big time.
  12. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    you've told her how you feel, or written out your feelings? Suggested possibly starting slow again? Dates?

    I'm all for trying everything, to make a relationship work. You know, if she were unwilling to work this out with you now, what would have happened in the future, had you stayed together? If something big came up? Is she ready for a long term relationship/commitment?

  13. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    I'm gonna skip this post for now and see how this thread turns out. Sorry for the confusion; I've deleted everything I posted because I trust the way Kali's handling it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2011
  14. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    oh, i dont mind taking advice from more that one person :) thats what i wanted! i find all comments from anybody on this forum very helpfull indeed :) i've seen a "head doctor" about my problems but it didn't help much.
  15. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    aww fellow, Rocketpop09, I think you add valuable input here. **hug** Relationships are truly not my specialty.
  16. solutions

    solutions Well-Known Member

    Well, it's just...in my experience, chasing after a failed relationship makes the hurt exponentially worse. I didn't want to contradict Kali.

    I had a relationship with a girl, and she called me her soul mate. Then she broke up with me. I spent years trying to win her back. I wanted her to love me so badly, but she didn't, and even though I knew she wasn't going to feel the same way, I still kept chasing after her. All I did was make things worse for myself.

    Some people are better at getting over relationships than others. I'm not one of them, and it doesn't sound like you're having an easy time with your own. But I do want you to know that it does get better with time.
  17. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    I don't see it as contradictory. It's two varying perspectives. It's good to get a variety of input.
  18. eagles_fan

    eagles_fan Well-Known Member

    This. I'm the same way. The best thing to do is forget her. Move on, whatever. She doesn't mean anything to you anymore.
  19. manicmuse12

    manicmuse12 Active Member

    ^^ no offence but that was not a nice thing to say!! how would you know that she doesn't mean anything to me anymore?? she means the world to me and always will!
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 22, 2011
  20. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    So she is totally opposed to even taking things slow and perhaps trying again? You explain to her relationships take work, you made a mistake. They happen often in relationships...it's commitment that counts. Being willing to work through these things.

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