Thinking of coming out tonight

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by dice, Nov 23, 2011.

  1. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    Ok so tonight is the biggest bar night of the year. I'm going out with my friends and we are all getting drunk. I figure this might be a good time to tell them I'm bisexual. Anyway I'm hoping the alcohol will give me the courage to tell them. Does anyone have any advice on what to say or anything? I'm completely new to this and kind of scared out of my mind. Things have just been rough enough lately in my life I feel like I need some kind of drastic change. I figure coming out may be the liberating experience I'm looking for. Anyway I'm really panicking over this so if anyone has any pointers or anything please feel free to share.
     
  2. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    well, good luck dude, i hope it goes well for you, im still in the closet,but only because i dont see the need to come out, i mean im not in a relationship, so why bother? anyways,if thats what you feel you need to do, then go for it.
     
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Best of luck to you, sir. :)
     
  4. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    Well I am sorry to say but I kind of chickened out. My brother unexpectedly was partying at the same bar as me and I didn't really want the word to spread to my family that fast. The music was also far louder than I anticipated and while I hate yelling to began with I hate more having to yell deep dark secrets about myself. I did in fact get asked if I was gay to which I responded 'kind of.' I still think that wording was lost on my buddy as he barely batted an eye. I've talked to a couple of other people outside this forum and seemed to get mostly positive advice. I think I'll try coming out again but it may not be as easy as it seems.
     
  5. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    I've never really understood coming out. They'll know you're gay when they see that you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Why do you need to make into an official declaration? That just seems melodramatic.
     
  6. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    I guess I maybe want to tell them so it doesn't all happen at once. I don't just want to introduce them to my random boyfriend out of the blue. I haven't tried really looking for a boyfriend yet and was really waiting to come out and get my own place before I do so. I really just feel like I need some kind of change in my life, considering how unhappy I have been of lately I feel like something liberating like this might be just the thing I need.

    Anyway on another note here is my current plan for coming out. I am going to bring up a topic subtly that I know they will accuse me of gay for bringing up. For instance I think I'm going to talk about my love of Lady Gaga or something like that. Then when they ask if I'm gay I can say something like "well I'm not gay, but I'm bisexual if you really must know." I like this idea much better than telling everyone to quiet down while I announce some big news. I'd like to make this a casual thing and then move on. Any ideas would still be appreciated.
     
  7. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    hmmm im still not sure how im going to come out of the closet either, dont see the point right now, i keep my parents out of my personal life, since they just screw things up for me -_- oh and LOL about the lady gaga reference :p
     
  8. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    Well this took awhile but I feel I needed to update this thread in case there is someone in a similar position. I had to go back three levels of pages just to find this thread but felt it needed the update.

    I ended up telling a single friend of mine alone and it went great. I really thought it would be extremely awkward too but it really wasn't. I basically said the one sentence saying I'm bi and he was fine with it. We watched a movie and it was just normal from there. As an added bonus a friend of mine is also bi he said.

    Now the downside, I still have to tell my best friend and that may be the hardest. I've known him since I was in kindergarten and he isn't exactly gay friendly. I think it will be hard to do but I really need to get it off my chest. I think he may need some time to get used to the idea but I think he will be ok with it in the long run.

    Anyway thank you everyone for the advice. I'm glad I came out to my one friend and now have the confidence to tell another.
     
  9. Sardaukar

    Sardaukar Well-Known Member

    Im really happy to hear that dice, since it was eating you up so much
     
  10. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    agreed... straight people don't go around declaring they're straight when they're not asked for it either so why bother... and i think people will accept it more if you show them your partner rather than just tell them you're LGBT, which probably leaves them with more question marks...