Thinking of driving to Tijuana to try and buy something to end my life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by scissorhands, Apr 10, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. scissorhands

    scissorhands New Member

    I've been doing a little bit of research. Just the basics. I have a particular product in mind. I have no idea how successful I would be getting it. And I have no idea how I would be sure that it was legit/authentic.

    But I'm at this point.

    I wish I could just buy some and have it stashed away...and feel safe or relieved knowing I always have that escape route if things keep getting worse.

    However, you generally can't keep these things forever as they expire. But I dunno, even if I decide not to go through with it, I think I'll have relief knowing I've "been there done that" and was able to access the necessary products and could do it again at any time.


    It's bizarre how painful it is to unravel to the point that I am seriously researching and considering this...yet it also feels liberating knowing that i might have access to a relatively painless exit route. i almost feel like it would make deal with the day-to-day easier, and maybe i wont be depressed...knwoing that in case of emergency, or in the event that i didnt want to deal with this anymore, i could opt out in a sense/get bailed out.
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :hug: what has gotten you feeling so low hun? im here if you want to talk about anything. Dont drive to get whatever this is... hang in there :)
  3. scissorhands

    scissorhands New Member

    where do i begin.

    i honestly think it could be therapeutic. and liberating.

    feeling "stuck" is overwhelming. but maybe if i had an escape route, i would feel more relieved about things, thinking "hey im gonna keep fighting, but at the end of the day, i have a way out of this"

    i think it also might motivate me to tackle issues head on...thinking "hey, lets confront this, and if it turns disastrous, who cares....i have an escape route" vs. just avoiding things.
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    hey sizz...I know the feeling you're talking about..the security blanket of always knowing when things get tough you have your exit ready....seems to take some pressure off..
    maybe a drive would clear your head and help you feel better but go in the opposite direction to tijuana...
  5. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    Im also planning to visit Mexico when time comes. I also wish i could just buy it and come home again, knowing that now i can choose when and how i will die, and it will be painless and quick. It will make me feel more comfortable. But unfortunatly, thats almost impossible, because it might put me in jail. So it will be a one way trip.
    Althought, if i have the supplies in my hand, then the question is, would i just feel more comfortable, or i will just use them the next time i feel that its time to die?
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.