Thinking of ending it all

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by trikkivikki08, Jan 30, 2008.

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  1. trikkivikki08

    trikkivikki08 New Member

    My husband is checked out. loves me but not inlove with me anymore.
    i never saw it coming.

    have been the perfect wife

    i truly dont feel as though i can go on

    how much si enough xanax to end it all?

    i am all alone

    searching for hope

    so far have none at all

    i know i am coward to do this but i truly feel i have not other choice

    my life is empty

    my definition was his wife and lover

    he has found another

    checked out

    wants to "help" me get past this but is shut down and won't feel my hurt and pain and really doesn't seem to care
  2. trikkivikki08

    trikkivikki08 New Member

    took <mod edit: methods>

    drinking at 12 am

    this wasn't me

    a couple of <mod edit: methods> in the house

    took those too

    slowing drinking and taking those <mod edit: methods> or something

    will it be enough

    god i hope so
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 30, 2008
  3. Lunatic

    Lunatic New Member

    Ah, the stories I could tell...

    Hang on. The pain passes if you hang on long enough.
  4. El Mas

    El Mas Active Member

    Stop it please. You need to call for help. I'm not sayin it's gonna get better cuz i dont know but nothing good comes from giving in to the despair and the pain inside you. And if life doesn't show you a path make one for yourself.

    Please call someone for help right away
  5. trikkivikki08

    trikkivikki08 New Member

    its too late
    husband at work
    wont answer his phone
    doesnt care
    thinks i am weak
    he is right

    i survived a fire almost 5 years ago that killed hundreds

    wanted to die then- survivors guilt is debilitiating

    he brought me back to life
    made me find hope
    a reason to go on

    made em feel it was ok that i lived and so many others died

    i was his soulmate

    i month ago i thought we were such a happy couple

    never fought

    felt so safe and loved and happy

    now find it was all a lie
  6. El Mas

    El Mas Active Member

    Well then call someone else. I don't believe in that fate shit and theres a reason your around while others died. But you were given a gift youre life and you choose what to do with it. Don't throw it away. Give yourself to something. there has to be someone you can help, love, care for. This world will only be more cold, hard, and cruel without you cuz you first hand know how bad things can suck. Youre stronger than you think. So call someone I know theres some part of you that belives what im sayin hang on to that and don't let go no matter what
  7. andyc68

    andyc68 Guest

    vikki, if you want to talk then mail me, i know exactly how you feel
  8. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Your husband should care about you more to EVER inflict this on you! I wouldn't inflict this on my worst enemy!!! What do your friends think of this? I have no doubt you were a brilliant wife otherwise you would be angry right now rather than wondering how this happened, you obviously still care for him.

    What do your friends think of all this? Have you told anyone?
  9. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    vikki hang in there. if you've taken something call 911, or get a cab to the hospital. if you are hanging on by a thread, that's good, just keep going. the pain seems unendurable but i promise it will pass. have you read this?

    it's really helped me out on many a long night,

  10. El Mas

    El Mas Active Member

    You okay vikk? let us know wassup
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    please get help hun, hang in there :hug:
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