Thinking of ending it tonight...

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by adriannei, Mar 14, 2012.

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  1. adriannei

    adriannei Member

    I am seriously thinking of ending it tonight but I am extremely afraid.

    If you knew me in real life, you know I was a caring, sweet person who would do whatever I can to help anyone. I work from home doing webdesign, and have a second job as well. But lately, things have been so bad for me even though I try. I have the most wonderful husband in the world who works hard, treats me with respect, and loves me unconditionally.

    But here I am, sad because I cannot have kids - maybe I am infertile or something. My husband wants kids some day and that brings me down. My sister in law has 2 beautiful kids and always comes over. I like spending time with them but it reminds me of what I cannot have.

    On top of that, work has been slow but I know it will get better by next week because I have a campaign that will begin, so April will be a great month for me.

    The worst part of all is that I am so shy around people. I force myself to talk but since I work from home, making any female friends is hard for me. I wouldn't mind having online friends, that would be so nice.


    My best friend is practically gone who is my mom. She was fine a year ago, very responsible and loving. I didn't realize it till now because I was so young but my mom has a drinking problem. She is the last one left in our family except for my uncle and Grandma.. she hasn't called me and my grandmother within a month. I feel like I lost my mother and I try so hard to keep a smile on my face and go through each day.. but in the back of my mind I worry about her and what is to become of her if she stays on this destructive path.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 14, 2012
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    That's what I'm going to do too...maybe not tonight, but soon, so I'm not sure how good my advice will be. There are things in your life that are good, so try to remember the good things when you become depressed. I'm sorry to hear about your troubles conceiving, but there might be treatments or something that can help you get pregnant. I'm shy too, so I can understand how hard it is to talk to people in real life. That's why I talk on here, and it's easier to open up. You have come to a great place because you can make a lot of friends here. Everyone cares about each other and is very supportive.
     
  3. adriannei

    adriannei Member

    Omg, Please don't do that.. I'm sure there's alot of caring people out there and thanks. I kind of sound like a hypocrit right now, lol..

    Anyways, yeah this seems like a great place. I'm going to take a nap and maybe all my problems will be gone in the morning or at least the day will be a little better.

    I'll send you a msg tomorrow, hoping you are still alive so please DON'T LET ME DOWN.. okay?
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    No you don't sound like a hypocrite...I can understand where you're coming from. I hope that things will get better for you soon. I'll probably be alive tomorrow, but it's hard to hold on and I don't know how much longer I can do it.
     
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