Thinking

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by InnerStrength, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. InnerStrength

    InnerStrength Well-Known Member

    I've done some thinking lately (have plenty of time for that). This rut I'm stuck in, I haven't tried to get myself out and am only digging myself deeper. Self-pity won't accomplish anything, and I should lay it aside as the useless tool it is.

    I think I need to address the most prominent issue hindering my progress. This depression, whether it comes from a physical problem, or is purely mental, it needs to be taken care of. My social anxiety is pretty bad as well, this is stopping me from living my life just as much as my depression.

    Not too long ago, I was convinced I wasn't normal, by that I mean I didn't feel the need to socialize or have varied interests. I did have the need--I just supressed it. I was making matters WORSE. I wish I could turn back time and do parts of my life over. So many missed opportunities.

    Before this overwhelming depression, was an empowering desire to live and a child-like happiness. So carefree...but for some reason I crushed that. I missed out self-defining childhood because of crushing responsibilities.

    I'll need to do ALOT of changing on the inside for any lifestyle changes to take effect, but it'll be worth it. I just hope I can change.

    It's both funny and sad, I know I was supposed to be someone else given my natural behavior through my childhood. All the stress my family put on me--it was truly devastating. I have to take the time to heal, because the wounds are still bleeding...