Went to my third session today and I feel worse and more depressed now. She told me I may need to be on antidepressants for the rest of my life. She said I possibly have destroyed something in my brain due to the years of being depressed. I forgot what she called it. That definitely did not make me feel good. She also told me that I ask her too many questions, and that I need to stop asking so many question so she will be able to counsel me. Than what really made me feel bad and depressed was she give me homework to do, and one of the things on the list is go to church. I thought I had made it clear to her that I did not want any part of religious counseling, but I guess not. She asked why had I not gone to church, and I told her I did not belive in organized religion. I told her I feel I can go outside and sit on the deck and get more in touch with God than I can going to church. Her exact words to me were....."No you cannot", "You must go to church to get/be helped". Now what!!! All I want is to be happy, and not so depressed and suicidal. I was going to start antidepressants today or tomorrow, but now I feel like forget it. I feel like there is even less hope for me now after this session. It took a lot of courage for me to even go to counseling, and I said this would be it. I would try to save myself by going to counseling, but now if I have to feel like this for the rest of my life I would truely rather be dead.