Thirst

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by jane doe, Mar 25, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    the dark side of my soul whispers me on my ear again.
    My heart races nonstop
    But My eyes wont even reflect the inner pain
    The whispers inside feel so loud
    There isn’t any other voice to hear
    There isn’t any other voice I want to hear
    Blood is running through my veins
    So quicly
    So tempting.
    The taste of the hidden pleasure
    So hard to be understood by humans.
    So easy to enjoy, and hard to measure
    I feel sorrow inside
    I feel anger burning me
    I feel hatred involved.
    There is a grievous thirst
    That I cant control anymore.
    Making me realize of the truth
    Its not the blood what I feel through my veins
    Its not sorrow, nor anger
    Even hatred is absent of my soul.
    Is The thirst consuming it.
    Taking control over my actions,
    Taking control over the voice
    And screaming at me silently
    Forcing me to become what I became
    A soulless shadow, shattered in peaces
    Completely used to it, and thirsty for it
    Happiness through hearing the voice
    Pleasure by following the instincts
    Pain to complete me again.
     
  2. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    wow.. you've just put into words exactly what goes on with me
     
  3. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    im guessing there is a it of all of us in it. I hope u are doing ok hun <3
     
  4. DiscoverPeaceOfMind

    DiscoverPeaceOfMind Active Member

    I lay exhausted, with my inner voices my only companion.
    What's the point of it all? There is no respite.
    Living in pain, living with pain, living through pain.
    I AM the KING of PAIN.
    My cries are greeted by tolerance, not solution,
    By sympathy and understanding, not absolution,
    By a gentle hand, yet not one that can help.
    Despite the many that seek me, I am alone.
    I AM DESPONDANT.
    As I slide into the abyss, I set frustrated plans,
    Crimson plans to free me from this helplessness.
    Plans I long to fulfill, yet plans I dare not tempt.
    Chilling plans that freeze.
    I AM RESIGNED.
    Resignation, however, allows me some semblance of freedom.
    For just a moment if I cannot succeed, I shall at least scramble.
    Transfixed on the rock face of life,
    No matter how loud I yell, no geologist can free me.
    I AM CALLING.
    I slip, I fall, I cry, I cut, I bleed. I persist.
    Bruised and torn on this rocky cliff, I have tried and failed.
    I return to my plans. What is the use?
    My grip loosens.
    I AM FALLING.
    My greatest fears are being met. I have guaranteed my failure.
    I see opportunities missed. I weep for myself.
    Although I have love for others, I feel only for me.
    I plunge, until, I can plunge no more. A lifeline has appeared.
    I AM SAVED.
    For I should not have sought a geologist. It is a rock climber I require.
    He will not lift, but he will guide. One sentence....
    Embrace the negative for within it's crusty shell lies a pearl waiting to be discovered.
    I AM DECISIVE
    And as I begin to climb, I see the rock face for what it truly is,
    Distinctions where before there were hazards.
    It was a camoflagued jigsaw of doubt and fear.
    As I discover each pearl, the distinctions become clearer.
    I AM CLIMBING
    Scrambling to the top, I hurt, I fear, I worry.
    Directions, pointing, advice. A rock face is not climed easily.
    I look down. The abyss remains.
    I AM SCARED
    Frustration, resignation. Resignation once again, only,
    An open mind prevails. An open mind of resignation.
    An open mind, I ponder, this is the back door of meditation!
    I AM DISCOVERING
    The precipice, once so far away, now seems closer.
    Each step becomes easier. I am nearer my destination.
    Round the last bend, and,
    The biggest obstacle of all appears.
    I AM DEVASTATED
    To maintain my life, a little carelessness is required.
    I have been paralysed within my comfort zone, an addiction has taken hold.
    My real test is now, not then.
    I AM CHALLENGED
    I step into the challenge of the Living Zone,
    An adventure of a lifetime awaits. I am at war.
    Tackle the challenge, of course I prevail. There is no other option.
    I stand atop this mountain, arms raised in triumph.
    I AM FREE
    Now a road appears, for it, I must travel,
    On the road to MY destination. Not yours. Although I can accompany you, and you, I.
    Stumbling on a slight stone, I glance back. All that I see are potholes.
    The rock face did not exist. It only felt as if it did.
    I AM MORE THAN A LABEL.
    I AM ME.
     
  5. jane doe

    jane doe Well-Known Member

    wow such a deep poem..i loved it <3
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.