1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.


Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Infinite Sadness, Jun 17, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    I think I am having a mental meltdown.. please bear with me. :blink:

    Is thirteen still considered to be childhood? Is one's brain still developing at this point? Could trauma at this age hinder proper development? Or is it all in childhood? Is this still considered childhood or teenagehood? Does it even fucking matter?
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I think yes they are still a child....but thats just my opinion. And i also think that experiencing trauma at any age will effect our brain.... :unsure: maybe
  3. Ouroboros

    Ouroboros Chat Buddy

    yes trauma at any age can affect your brain. Depends on the trauma as to what (if any) damage would occur.

    As for brain development, research has shown that the brain doesn't fully mature until late teens/early 20s - which is one of the reasons drinking alcohol or taking recreational drugs can cause much more damage at these ages and younger as the brain is more vulnerable while developing.

    At thirteen, your are a teenager but in my eyes and many others you are still a child and as I said above your brain is still developing.

    Have you had some kind of trauma at this age that is causing you to worry about this?

  4. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    yes it matters and yes it is childhood x
  5. ASkylitDrive

    ASkylitDrive Well-Known Member

    It matters more than most think hun.

    This is the time where you start to think more, things dwell more in your mind and for some its when long term memory really kicks in.

    I'm sorry you are having a melt down, do you need to pm me sweetie? I love you x x x
  6. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies, they have helped greatly. :hug: Umm, I think my brain has settled a bit. All the reading I have been doing on development or things related to my mental illness keeps referring to childhood and I am not clear on whether that extends to the age at when I had the rather large trauma that seems to have really messed me up. I mean my childhood was anything but perfect but yes, to answer your question Ouroboros, I found my mom dead of suicide at thirteen and I was forced to "grow up" without really knowing how to do so in the first place. You know, left to my own devices and well, I suppose I didn't do it right whatsoever.

    I guess I keep feeling like at thriteen I should have been old enough to have some sense about me, maybe I feel like I brought things on myself. I may not even be making any sense right about now. Digging in a brain that I have worked so hard at muddling with drugs and whatnot, couple that with everything I have mentally blocked out, man I am a mess.

    Hello? Earth to Brain?..If you could work right for more than 40 seconds at a time so I could string a coherent thought together and make sense of things myself, that would be just dandy! *grumbles*
  7. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I think discovering your mother dead from a suicide at any age would have a deep and horrible effect on you, even more so however at such a young age. People are still very much dependant on their parents in their teenage years and being a teenager can be a very confusing time for most people; figuring out who they are and experimenting with different things, noticing the opposite sex, etc. It's a terrible shame that you had to go through such a tragedy at such a young age and I certainly don't think that you brought anything on yourself or should have coped any better given what you went through. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself.
  8. Infinite Sadness

    Infinite Sadness Well-Known Member

    Yes, I think you are right in the way that I do tend to be hard on myself. I have a split in me. I was pressured by my family to grow up without much help. Sometimes I can see it your way (rationally, it is the right way) and other times I see it their way,(totally irrational) I need to suck it up and move on etc. I'm sort of frozen in time for now. Recent events and a new pdoc have brought up a lot of stuff hence my joining of this site.
    I also wonder if it was in me from birth, if I have made it up (my mental state) or if I am genuinely mentally affected as a result of trauma. All things and thoughts that have been put into my head one way or another. I'm doing much more soul-searching as of late than I have ever done in my life it seems.

    Now the next step is to figure out how to stop thinking irrationally. I mean it consumes me before I know what is going on. It's rather terrifying.

    For my 14th birthday my uncle gave me a book on how not to be selfish. He also blamed me for her death as did my grandfather once when he was drunk. I try not to believe them. I even get downright angry about it. But there's a nagging voice there in the background...
  9. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry that you had to go through the trauma of being blamed for something so sensitive, it isn't fair of them to do that, especially not to a thirteen/fourteen year old. You have to remember that your uncle and grandfather suffered a loss as well as you did, and as human beings we often look to place blame when things go wrong. I'm not going to try and make excuses for the horrible way that your family have treated you as a result of your mothers death, however it could be possible that they too were upset at the loss of your mother and tried to lay blame on the most likely person they could find. My advice would be to ignore that nagging voice. Whatever it has to say on the matter, it isn't nice and you should focus more on getting better and becoming a more positive person. Anything negative, including that voice, is just going to interfere with that.

    Personally, I don't think anyone with any kind of mental condition will ever know if it was in them from birth, developed due to a trauma or something that they themselves have somehow either intentionally or unintentionally created themselves. It is what it is and all that matters is that it is effecting the way you live your life and therefore you need help sorting it out. It might be an idea to ask your doctor about tips on how to perhaps block out these irrational thoughts you tend to get so that you can be a lot more logical in your way of thinking.
  10. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I'd consider 13 to be a child.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. It's not your fault.
  11. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    The brain continues its initial development until about 25 when the centre of good judgment finally completes. Childhood can continue much longer, though...
  12. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    Thirteen is still childhood and the brain is not fully mature until your 20's.... I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. Like the others have said, it is not your fault :hug:
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.