This all upsets me very much.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Witty_Sarcasm, Oct 4, 2014.

  1. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Why is it that whenever I get close to someone, they leave without as much as a damn word? Do they really think that is easier? No, I deserve an explanation as to why we were so close, then you cut me out of your life just like that. I hate being ignored and rejected, people swear they won't do that, but they always lie. It makes me want to hurt myself, it makes me angry, it makes me hate myself even more, because I am never good enough for anyone. They tell me all these great things about myself, then negate that by shutting me out. It happens with friendships and relationships. I guess I tend to go after guys I can care for, because I suppose I am a nurturer. People always take advantage of my kind nature, even when I try to be more tough. Guys always tell me they would be happy with a girlfriend, to be in love, but I'm never enough for them. They tell me no one else will go out with them, so that's why they chose me. Of course, they have to be desperate for a bottom of the barrel pick like myself. I don't want to be seen as an accessory, as a status symbol, just because they don't want to be alone. But I don't want to be alone either, and maybe that's why I keep letting people into my life, even if the end result is always the same. I know some of you will say "We care about you here", but that's only true with a few people. The rest don't even realize I exist. What kind of a chat and forum buddy am I if no one wants to get to know me, even when I do reach out? And when people say I'll find the right friends, ones who won't leave me, that always proves to be untrue. No one has to respond to this, I don't know why I even wrote it, but I'm hurting badly, not that anyone cares, and I see no way out of this. Maybe I will do it soon, because then I'll no longer have to feel pain this deeply anymore.
     
  2. Caminho - lunar

    Caminho - lunar Active Member

    I don't really know you and I don't have a clue about what you are saying. It feels like you are very very angry and want you to know that but I've been in sf since last may and always look for your posts/threads because I like what I see in them. It seems to me that you are a good person. Most of the times I don't say a word because english is not my language and it's hard to find the words to say what I want. But I do care about you.
     
  3. FMyLife

    FMyLife Chat Buddy

    I'm sorry you feel that way witty, and i know I don't know you aside from going back and forth in the banning game. But I will extend a hand and tell you if you ever need to talk, I will listen. I have never turned anyone away that needed and ear or a shoulder and I really don't think I am going anywhere anytime soon, so seriously, the offer is there. I hope you are okay.
     
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    That's the problem, no one understands what I'm trying to say, even if it seems clear to me. It seems like I will always be misunderstood and ignored. Now I have so called "friends" ignoring me, abandoning me and acting like I don't exist, some of my worst fears, so what is left for me? Nothing at all, and that's why I need to be dead.
     
  5. Syn

    Syn Well-Known Member

    Friends always seem to drift apart, shit happens, lives change. The person you knew once may not be the same person who said they'd stick by you... I'm sorry I left without a word. I didn't have a choice, just too much shit happened all at once. I hope you can forgive me. If not, that's understandable. In my eyes were still friends, even if it has been a while...
     
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I didn't have you in mind when I wrote this, I was thinking more of people who want to hurt me, the ones who don't care how I end up feeling. There's nothing to forgive, we will always be friends, and I'm really glad to hear from you again. :D Would like to talk when you have time.
     
  7. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    And you didn't leave without a word, you told me beforehand you would be gone and not sure how long. That's different from the people who flat out exile me from their lives...hope you've been okay.
     
  8. Syn

    Syn Well-Known Member

    I didn't even remember that I had told you I was leaving. Too much happened for me to remember much. I'm really glad to hear that we're still cool, it means a lot to me.
     
  9. W Miller

    W Miller Well-Known Member

    I care about you still Witty!!!

    I'll never abandon you.
     
  10. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Well, I think you said you wouldn't be on for a while or something. Of course you're still my friend, I still need people on my side, because a lot seem to be abandoning me lately.
     
  11. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    Thank you, same here. :) Too bad everyone can't value friendship as much as we do. Then the world would be a better place.