Why is it that whenever I get close to someone, they leave without as much as a damn word? Do they really think that is easier? No, I deserve an explanation as to why we were so close, then you cut me out of your life just like that. I hate being ignored and rejected, people swear they won't do that, but they always lie. It makes me want to hurt myself, it makes me angry, it makes me hate myself even more, because I am never good enough for anyone. They tell me all these great things about myself, then negate that by shutting me out. It happens with friendships and relationships. I guess I tend to go after guys I can care for, because I suppose I am a nurturer. People always take advantage of my kind nature, even when I try to be more tough. Guys always tell me they would be happy with a girlfriend, to be in love, but I'm never enough for them. They tell me no one else will go out with them, so that's why they chose me. Of course, they have to be desperate for a bottom of the barrel pick like myself. I don't want to be seen as an accessory, as a status symbol, just because they don't want to be alone. But I don't want to be alone either, and maybe that's why I keep letting people into my life, even if the end result is always the same. I know some of you will say "We care about you here", but that's only true with a few people. The rest don't even realize I exist. What kind of a chat and forum buddy am I if no one wants to get to know me, even when I do reach out? And when people say I'll find the right friends, ones who won't leave me, that always proves to be untrue. No one has to respond to this, I don't know why I even wrote it, but I'm hurting badly, not that anyone cares, and I see no way out of this. Maybe I will do it soon, because then I'll no longer have to feel pain this deeply anymore.