This being is not truly being -- the false existence

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Prinnctopher's Belt, Dec 4, 2009.

  1. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    God damned it.

    I just get so fucking tired of being alive, being human, existing in this fucking miserable place. I don't even know what category my ass could belong. I just don't want to be alive anymore. Alive, in the most literal sense. I'm sick of not having the control that I want. I want to be a fully independent being. I don't want to be controlled by primal instincts, or bodily functions. Fuck that bullshit. I'm not a god damned robot. I'm sick of living according to what my body wants, or what some stimuli cause me to do!

    I want full independence. I don't want to have to go to sleep. I don't want to have to piss or shit or eat or drink. This existence is bullshit! A human being in this fucking era is like a damn robot. You eat and you shit and fuck and you sleep and you die, and all the shit in between in fucking MEANINGLESS. How pointless.


    Living is so ridiculous. I can't even rationally justify LIFE. All I want to do is experience, because that's what I WANT; not an obligation. Not a necessity. Fuck that. I want to do what I want to do, period. And I'm tired of being fucking impeded by these primitive functions, that I just want to end them. The only problem with that is that I won't be able to experience any longer. And that's all I really want to do.

    Sigh. Maybe I'm missing something. The experience of taking a shit is quite pleasant, and the ability to taste good food, and feel water on my tongue. All of that is great! But it's not great when it's a function that occurs involuntarily and gets in the way. Sleeping? Eating? Fuck that! I don't want to die nor become hungry if I choose not to fucking eat. I don't want to become drowsy or tired, or hazy if I choose not to fucking sleep. I don't want there to be any consequences if I choose to wake up in the morning when I feel like it! Fuck that!

    FUCK IT ALL. I don't know how to negotiate this shit with myself. Gah!
  2. Disappear

    Disappear Well-Known Member

    "The experience of taking a shit is quite pleasant" hehe, I like that one :)
    I never thought those things were so bad? All things need some kind of fuel to keep going.