I have been doing good this week overall. Although the thoughts are still there I have been managing. However, a short while ago I got out of bed, grabbed my belt, and tightened it around my neck. I could feel myself fading away but let it go. I know this method will not work because this is what I usually try. Why do I keep coming back to this? I know when the bomb a the bottom of the roller coaster hill goes off it will be because of a gun and not a belt.