This ever happen to you?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by blue, Apr 21, 2012.

  1. blue

    blue Active Member

    I'm just so tired and I've just got hit with this complete wave of sadness. I don't see the point in trying anymore. I want to give up. I wish it was that easy. I'm just disillusioned with the world, I don't want to be here anymore. I don't see my point. I fuck everything up. I'm such a fuck up. I'm such a nothing and a nobody and I am so damn dumb. I just want to isolate myself away. I get this sick pleasure in hurting myself, I feel vindicated when I know I've gotten what I deserve. I don't necessarily enjoy it but I know I should. I'm just this bad rotten sick person from the inside out. Why can't people see it? Maybe they can see it but they are too polite to say? I don't understand. With someone this disgusting there is no need to be polite. I don't deserve any human decency. I'm vile. I shouldn't exist, my existence is pointless. I'm worthless. I just want to give up. I don't FUCKING get it. Why can't everyone else see it? It's so fucking obvious. I fucking hate this bullshit.
     
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    The tiredness, waves of sadness and apathy are all exactly how I feel most of the time, so can relate completely.

    They are signs of deep depression, as are feelings of self loathing, worthlessness etc.
    The answer is to see your doctor, I know I felt less apathetic and exhausted on anti-depressants, but the one I was on had a nasty side effect so I had to come off it, sadly I've been too apathetic to drag my arse back down to the doctor's.
    Don't join me in a procrastination marathon, see your doc post haste.
     
  3. blue

    blue Active Member

    Thank you for your words but I have no intention of seeing a doctor for this anytime soon. I hope things improve for you.
    Best wishes.
     
  4. saltydogmk

    saltydogmk Member

    I understand what you mean by doing harm to yourself because you feel like you deserve it. I've carved the words suffer and death into my leg because I feel like I deserve no better and I'm not going to tell you that it was the right or wrong to do. I just know what it's like to feel like you must suffer for what you've done. But please if you ever need to talk to someone just email me first and we can start a chat if you want my yahoo mesenger address I will give it to you. *hug I'll listen if that's all you want or I'll share with you my personal experience if it will help :) I've found that these people genuily care about what we are going through and I hope I can help in any way possible :)