This feels all too familiar, it may be time...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by vizionz, May 27, 2009.

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  1. vizionz

    vizionz Member

    well i am new to this site. im not even really sure what i am doing here other than hoping i find a reason to keep moving on. i have been suicidal for 8 years or so and have attempted it twice. i have been in a hospital for an extended period of time and i have been living this rollercoaster life for waayyy too long now. just when i thought everything was going alright i just had the worst holiday weekend ever. my gf of six months decided out of NOWHERE she didn't want to be with me because she could tell that my feelings for her are much much more strong than hers are for me. ever since we got together all of my bad feelings were gone. but this past weekend i felt every awful feeling i have felt in the past. every second seeemed like a minute...every minute felt like an hour. i did not want to leave my house all i wanted to do was go to bed but i could not even sleep because my heart and mind were racing. although we were only together for 6 mos i really really cared for her. i was/am in love with her. this is the second girl in under a year to break my heart. i really dont see much reason to continue feeling like this anymore. i have dealt with too many long exhausting days with these awful thoughts running through my head. i am now at the point where i have been thinking of how i will do it and where i will do it. i think XXXX will be the best option.

    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2009
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...glad you found us...your injuries are new and they will take time to heal, as they have before...after the first relationship you found your current GF...each has been a learning experience and a rehearsal for being with will take time and an active involvement in healing to get through this...all the best, J
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :welcome: to the forum. I am sorry you are suffering so badly. I know where you're at. I hope you stay here and keep posting, and you'll see you're not alone and many if not all of us are going through the same struggles as you in one form or another.

    That being said, do you have a therapist that can help you work out these feelings? Everyone has their heart broken at one time or another. But when a breakup leads to suicidal feelings, there is usually something buried underneath that, usually relating to childhood from what I've found. I have a therapist and she has been very helpful in showing me where my feelings come from and why. She has helped me to understand much. That would be my suggestion. But either way, stay here and keep posting. I've been here a while, and this place has helped me a lot.

    Wishing you the best :heart:
  4. vizionz

    vizionz Member

    thank you but it there is alot more than my relationship issues. these have come up and triggered everything else. i try to keep my mind busy but nothing seems to work...i cant even get my heart to slow down. i know what you are saying though. these feelings and thoughts have come and gone in the past. but they always seem to stay around somewhere deep until the right time and they come out. i really am sick of feeling like this...thank you for your response.
  5. vizionz

    vizionz Member

    Thank you for your response. I have been to a therapist before and she did help a bit but I cant currently go to one as I dont have health insurance or the money to pay for one. There is definitely more to my thoughts than just my unsuccessful relationships. I know what is bothering me I just cant seem to fix it. This has been going on waay too long. I really dont know what else to as I really dont want to keep living like this everyday. Thanks again for your post.
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