Hi all, Never having joined a forum before, it's hard to know where to start except to say, "I'm done." Done with medication. Done with therapy. Done with talking about depression. Done with hoping it will change. In the past two years I've been laid off twice (and almost a year and some 120+ applications later still looking...); my sister has untreatable cancer; my wife was diagnosed with MS; my child has special needs; my dad is suffering from Alzheimer's and I was formally diagnosed with severe depression. How can I believe it will ever get better? Every day get harder and harder to handle and despite a caring family, I can't share with them what it feels like inside because words are just too feeble to describe it. Imagine if you had to write a paragraph that explains to a 5-year-old how to tie their shoelaces - only words, no pictures. It can't be done. That's what it feels like whenever I start telling people what it's like to be depressed. More than anything what I hope to get out of writing this is not necessarily advice, hope or support; but the knowledge that in at least one corner of the universe I've left a discernible footprint that may (or may not) be ever discovered again - a little bit like those anonymous names you used to see carved on desks in elementary school.