Hi all I realised I do not want to be part of this forum. I thought it may help understand things by listening to you guys but is not helping at all. It is actually making me even more angry at the person in my family that comited suicide. Instead of understanding I am getting angrier and angrier. That anger is starting to chanel to every individual here that will say they are 'doing it' tonight or soon or tomorrow... I can't listen to that, everytime I hear it from one of you I go over and over, back to the sight of body hanging on the stair case, broken neck, twisted face, urine trails, knocked side lamp, smell(stench, that even now I can smell in my mind), strange how people shower and shave to be found clean and pretty but forgeting the natural rules of the body... Then I am at the coroner's office to identify the body, then I am at the crematorium...Then I am angry as I had to be the one sorting the mess, still the one sorting the mess...funeral is not the end of it. Then I hate you for making me remember, then I hate you for making me know that you will put some poor soul through the same hell. Hope you all stay safe, but I am not going to stay around and find out who is going to be the one to take their life and how that will be done.