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This Friday, finally...

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UsedToBe

Well-Known Member
#1
Every night is the same. I struggle with suicidal thoughts and every night they get stronger and more real. I'm scared if staying alive and I'm scared of my own thoughts. I want to die. Friday night it is. Hope this time I'll do it properly. There must be at least one thing I can do right.

Please God help me do it. I don't want to come back home. Home hurts.
 

LoveBeing

Well-Known Member
#2
Please go get help, hon. You can get your life straightened out again. You know you are having conflicting thuoghts. How can you be scared of your thoughts if you don't even fear death?

Please do get the help you need...talk to your doctor...take the meds that can help you...you can get through this episode, hon...hang in there...

hugs :hug:
 

friendless

Well-Known Member
#4
I feel hypocritical giving advice because I've been suicidally depressed since I was 13. I'm now 30 so that's... 17 years. :blink: I've been doing some thinking lately, and realized that it even seems unnatural to me that other people value life and don't want to die.

Regardless, I've made it this long by doing my best at trying to live one day at a time and by building something to hold on to.

If you don't mind telling me, PM me and elaborate. What is the trouble exactly? Maybe I can give you better advice.
 

UsedToBe

Well-Known Member
#5
Today hurts. Friday gives new hope to end it all. Talked to my kids, told them that whatever happens I will always love them. My counselor says I need to do something for myself. Maybe that's an ultimate good I can do?
 
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