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This goddamn bitch is ruining my life

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Well-Known Member
I tried to kill myself last summer. In and out of the mental hospital 4 times. Found a bipolar and mood disorder support group. I'm diagnosed schizoaffective. I learn to facilitate the groups, and am getting straight A's in my college classes. Met an older woman. Had a bad relationship. Brokeup. She still came to the group. Talks about being suicidal. I try to see if there is a bed available in the hospital which she can stay in until she's feeling better.

She doesn't want to go the hospital. I try to cheer her up, taking her to a nice resturaunt and listening to all her problems. She becomes mean and manipulative, asking if I would shed a tear if I died. Calls me an asshole. I try to take her back to the hospital. She pretends she's not suicidal and doesn't get admitted.

She starts calling me, ranting and cussing me out. I turn my phone off. Get home, two messages to hear.

1: You fucking asshole, I'm gonna think of you when I'm dying. Your face, you, I'm gonna think about YOU as I'm going under.

2: Well, I still love you, even though you're whacko. I'm passing out now. I don't know if I will be awake tommorow.

I call her, call her, call her. No answer, no answer, no answer. I call the paramedics to her house. She becomes more furious by tenfold.

Next morning: 8 messages, all from her. She hopes I contract the bubonic plague. She says that if I find upside-down red crosses on my lawn, they're from her. Cussing. Cussing. Cussing. Cussing. The filthiest shit I've ever heard in my life.

That was last week. I try to have my fellow mood support group facilitators tell her that she is not welcome back in the group. They aren't convinced.

She calls tonight. I hang up. It's gonna be a long motherfucking night.


:sad: I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It sounds very very abusive, regardless of whether she's feeling suicidal or not. One thing I've learnt is that you can only do so much to help and you're ultimately not responsible for anybody's death or suicide when she's in touch with the appropriate people or the people in her care are aware and involved, you can step back. I've also been in a situation where taking my sister to A+E she then decides everything is fine, to only come back home and start up again. :sad:

It sounds very unsafe to be around someone like this if you're in a vulnerable situation or are suffering mental health problems yourself. What happened to me whilst trying to "save someone's life" a few years ago, was ending up overdosing and being hospitilised. You don't need this pressure, especially if you're on the receiving end of her abuse.

Why aren't your group facilitators convinced? Is there any chance of turning off your phone or changing your number? I know this may sound cold or unfeeling but your personal safety is important here. I know how this can rip you apart inside. :hug:

P.S Is it accepted where you are, in a professional sense, to go out with a member of your group?
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Well-Known Member
you got it rough...

I know this goes against the grain of being supportive....

But I would have said "GOOD DARWIN WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU @#$%" to her along time ago... (after she started taking advantage of my kindness)

Anyway I think you did all the right things... maybe you will have to find another support group because of it also... I hope your support group is cool about it anyway... she probably won't get away with loosing it in the group... so if she does they will certainly get her admitted and out of your hair for you. I wouldn't sweat it unless it got bad like they all ganged up on you... (I REALLY doubt that).

Lady E

Well-Known Member
Keep records of her abusive phone calls and make recordings of them and if it is on your cell phone save the messages. If she shows up at your house call the police.
Don't let her get to you because that is what she wants. Definitely stay away from her don't answer her phone calls like letdown said even change your numbers, even if she is threatening suicide this isn't a healthy or safe situation for you at all to be caught up in.
This woman is an adult and she is not your responsibility to care for she is very manipulative and dangerous.
Maybe it's best you switch to a whole different support group all together because even going to this one right now with all the attachments even if she is banned other people might "take her side" and it wouldn't be fair to you.

I wish you the best


Well-Known Member
It's actually not so much that the other facilitators don't sympathize with me (in fact they are quite nice and supportive), it's just that none of them are bold enough or just won't take the initiative in telling her to go away.

I guess the title is not so true now-- I'm doing fine. The only thing that is annoying is that she wants to continue going to group.

So I just gave her a warning, asking her to stop coming to the group, and told her that if she were in my position, she'd do the same thing because the circumstances demanded such a response.

If she doesn't go with that, one order of restraining order, waiter.

If there is any question of whether I can get one, boom, I got you down for statutory. :laugh:

As far as suggesting that I should call the cops if she comes to my home: well, duh. I'm not stupid. :rolleyes:
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