I was hospitalized twice this year due to attempted suicides. I think I now know why things went downhill for me this year. 20 years ago this year I learned about what sexual abuse was. Although my heart sank at coming to the realization that it was happening to me, I went into a state of denial. To a degree I still don't want to believe that it happened. How do you get over something you have a really difficult time coming to terms with?