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Dad just came in before and stop shock horror, had a decent conversation with me. Yes, I know. The person I *should* trust and still sorta dont and who kicked himself out for like a week spoke to me. Well maybe Mum had something to do with it, they were yelling at each other. But still, he came in and talked... about what I was drawing, which happened to be a cape. But still, he actually spoke to me, without me having to prod him.

One thing though... if he really is a half decent person again, then why is it that I still tense up whenever he's near? Or that I almost cant stand it when he hugs me, almost to the point where I want to just shove him away... but I dont. I dont have it in me to be aggressive... not to him anyway. He's scared me too much in the past. I dont know... I guess I should be OVER it already. I ended up against a wall because of him, he almost got me in a car crash once, or well a few times, he's been fucking reckless. Well screw that, coz its near nothing compared to a lot of other people. Why cant I put it all behind me? Why is it that I keep on dreaming about all this crap? He's MEANT to be my dad, and I still can't forgive/trust him.

Oops... I just realised its turned into more of a rant now... oh well I guess. :unsure:
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