That's it if this happens, I'm doing down for sure this time I have many many problems including anxiety, and health problems and living in a shitty rundown area in NYC, no sex life because of prior past of social anxiety and my lack of social skills to talk to a girl and more, although I got kinda far beating them a few are very hard but one is the main focus now. That one is horrible acne like this (it's not me but that's how my acne looks) http://www.skin.org.il/Admin/spaw/DatabaseImages/acne_face_severeS.jpg For years I took all kinds of meds to beat it but to no avail. Now I stumbled upon a drug called accutane taken for 4-6 months and 85%+ are clear after it from at least a year or two and many permanent. But the ones who relapse and take it again are cured 90%. Sounds pretty easy huh, nope! Doctors won't prescribe it easily because it can have nasty side effects and such and for me it was a disaster to be on it. I took it for 8 months because my acne was so damn resistant it wouldn't clear until month 6, so my doctor extended the course and I finally cleared and after I was clear I never realized how handsome I'm. The first time in life many girls give me looks, I'm confident, higher self-esteem, although lots of things are still shit but with clear skin I can go places and take care of stuff and most importantly suicidal thoughts went down a lot and I'm talking to girls even with my shitty social skills but since I'm really so handsome that kind of saves me. But being off only for 2 months, 2 FUCKING MONTHS!!!! it looks like it's coming back, although only small stuff, but I know where this goes. If this happens that's it I'm gonna kill myself. Sure I can try the drug again but there is major problems. 1) doctors may not presribe it again 2) I borke out the whole course and looked 5x worse!! 3) I had nasty gastro-intestinal symptoms where only 5% of people get them, I'm not surprised I got it since I have Reflux Disease and Irritiable Bowel Syndrome. If my doc knew this he wouldn't prescribe me the drug in the first place. And also now those kinda flarred up bad again so I can't do accutane again until I got those settled. Like I said if I relapse now, 90% I'm going through with ending my life since I didn't get this far to go a 100 notches below again!