This is A Resort.

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by _Waste_of_Breath_, Oct 26, 2012.

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  1. _Waste_of_Breath_

    _Waste_of_Breath_ New Member

    This is my resort hopefully here I will be able to see that maybe I don't have it as bad as I think Maybe I will stop cutting & Depending on substances to take me away from reality. After a certain time Life gets hard or boring. I started smoking when I was 12 (Weed) It was a way to get away from everything..Be in my own made up world. At school I made fun of people because I myself was miserable & did not want others to be happy, Sadly I got a reputation...I still had friends they just weren't the ones I could relay on because they knew I wasn't a real friend to them I was fake & Deceiving. At the age of 13 I got arrested for a bus riot, a girl was stabbing herself and attempting to commit suicide, everyone dived in to stop her but she started stabbing others and punching...Being middle schoolers we punched back. Spent only two nights in ACJC From then on I was known as the screw up of the family, It got worse when My mom attempted suicide my dad came home to find her in the bathroom passed out in the tub with <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods>..From then on my mom was on medication and always in bed, Eventually My mom & dad split up and my mom then tried again once again failed thankfully. Everyday I think of how she was so miserable she just wanted to leave everything behind. I look back at how life was when I was young & how it is now. It's a lot better but the past always comes back. When I was Young I was rapped by one of my mom's friends that was supposed to be watching me but he had other plans My mom was to drugged up to pay any attention it happened more then once My mom wouldn't listen nor believe me My dad wasn't around. My dad "traveled' a lot...He always claimed he was on trips for work but really he was cheating on my mom. Everyday it's just a new thing...More drugs More Pain More regret. I have trouble getting close to people thinking they will always hurt me in the end, I have no REAL friends because I can no longer have faith in people anymore. Its hard just to wake up sometimes and get ready for a day you don't really want to live in the long run but you know in the back of your head if you did something about it, it would hurt people not many but enough. I can not go one day without thinking about getting drunk or high to take away the pain...Im only 15 and already a dependent on substances. It hurts to know that theres people in this world who dont care like I used to and just put everyone down because their in pain, I currently go to one of the worst schools in my state, I wish I could get out and leave this town run away♥
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 26, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun You are so young I hope you can talk to someone hun a counselor at your school a teacher you trust I know it seems far away hun but you will become adult soon and be able to hopefully move out and make a life of your own. I do hope though you can get some help to get off all the substances you are using to help you cope. You can talk here hun we will listen ok not judge you. I am sorry you have had such a difficult life hugs.
     
  3. three44

    three44 Member

    Schools can be pretty bad places, especially for someone already in pain. It is time to locate someone you think you can trust and ask them for help. I hurt knowing all of the pain you went through and are going through. I wish I could give you a hug and make all of the pain go away, instead of the drugs and alcohol. You should know that your self-reflection shows that your thoughtful and smart. Use your smarts to get help. keep trying to find the right person to help you, they are out there. And total eclipse is right, we are here to help on this forum, as well. We can listen without judging.
     
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