This is funny i thought (not a game)

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by ThE--GriM--ReApEr, Jan 6, 2006.

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  1. ThE--GriM--ReApEr

    ThE--GriM--ReApEr Well-Known Member

    Well this kinda made me laugh so i figured id share it.

    Since Vancouver now has the chance to win the coveted title of Ringmaster for the 2010 Olympics, there's been an increased interest in tourism...but mostly from idiots, as you will see.

    These are real questions posted on the tourism website for Vancouver - the answers are hilarious.




    Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(UK)

    A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.



    Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)

    A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.



    Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)

    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.



    Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)

    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.



    Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)

    A: Let's not touch this one.



    Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax?(UK)

    A: What did your last slave die of?



    Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA )

    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.



    Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)

    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.



    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)

    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.



    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)

    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.



    Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)

    A: No, WE don't stink.



    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you sell it in Canada? (USA)

    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.



    Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.



    Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)

    A: Only at Thanksgiving.



    Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?(Germany)

    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.



    Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)

    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.



    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)

    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

    Sammie :weee:
     
  2. Isa

    Isa Well-Known Member

    lmao brilliant. I especially like the naked hippo racing and milk. mmm milk
     
  3. zhiyu

    zhiyu Active Member

    the one about the perfume in canada made me laugh :biggrin:
     
  4. ThE--GriM--ReApEr

    ThE--GriM--ReApEr Well-Known Member

    Yeh, there are a few commical ones in, made me giggle for a little bit anyways, lol :smile:
     
  5. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    lol i find them really funny! thanks for sharing! *is still smiling*
     
  6. ThE--GriM--ReApEr

    ThE--GriM--ReApEr Well-Known Member

    No problem at all, just glad people thought they were amusing, lol.
     
  7. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    :rofl: i love these thanx for sharing :smile:

    bunny
     
  8. Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
    Female customer: A white one...
    ===============

    Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
    Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
    Customer: ! ; Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
    Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
    Customer: No ,wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...
    ===============

    Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
    Customer: Your left or my left?
    ===============

    Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
    Male customer: Hello.. I can't! print.
    Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
    Customer:< /B> Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
    ===============

    Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
    ============== =

    Customer: I have problems printing in red...
    Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
    Customer: Aaaah..........thank you.
    ===============

    Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
    Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
    ===============

    Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore
    Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
    Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
    Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
    Customer:! OK
    Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
    Customer: Yes
    Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
    Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah..that one does work...
    ===============

    Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
    Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
    == =============

    Customer: can't get on the Internet.
    Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
    Customer: Yes, I 'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
    Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
    Customer: Five stars.
    ===============

    Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
    Customer: Netscape.
    Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
    Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
    ============ ===

    Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
    ===============

    Tech support: How may I help you?
    Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
    Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
    Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
    ===============

    A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
    Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
    Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
    ===============

    And last but not least...

    Tech support: "Okay Bob , let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    Customer: I don't have a P.
    Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: What do you mean?
    Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
     
  9. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I'm going to hunt down a job in tech support after that:laugh:
    I'll be the one on the floor laughing their head off! :rofl:
     
  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Such fun to read and contemplate. Makes you wonder though, doesn't it?
     
  11. FoReVeR LoSt

    FoReVeR LoSt Well-Known Member

    wow, we're not that weird up here in Canada, i can't believe some of those questions though, lol give me a break
     
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