This is going to sound bad but. . .

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Lady Byron, Jul 31, 2008.

  1. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    I think about sex all the time. Not in the perverted way, but just like, wondering. I try to picture myself having sex and I just can't. With anyone. God I feel weird saying this. And then I start thinking, like I'm afraid to have sex because:

    1) I'm not ready.
    2) Don't want to get pregnant
    3) Don't want to be called a whore or a slut
    4) Worried about it hurting (not physically, but like emotionally)
    5) Feel so weird thinking or talking about it because it just seems kind of. . . well disgusting.

    But I still think about it all the time. Does that mean I'm sick (like perv. sick)?
  2. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    No. You just sound curious :hug:. Sex isn't disgusting. When you're with the right person (or not, if you just enjoy sex) it can be the most beautiful thing out there.
    It can seem disgusting though if you've had unpleasant experiences with sex in the past...and generally, from what I've seen- sex in the media, yeah it's understandable you feel it's disgusting..

    I think about sex loads. I'm female and am neither a perv, a whore, a slut, worry about getting pregnant or think about it hurting.

    I'm curious about what you mean about it hurting emotionally? That sounds interesting. What do you mean by that?
  3. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    just like what if I have sex with a guy and then he just decides that maybe I wasn't attractive enough or got what he wanted and then left. he would already have gotten my virginity and all so. . . i don't know. i just have really bad trust issues with guys sometimes. idk. i just feel kind of. . . like i'm a perv. for thinking about sex so often.
  4. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    :hug: I know what you mean about trust...

    As for your worries about not being attractive enough- maybe when you find yourself attractive and feel good about yourself, you'll be discerning and find a guy who won't use you but will love you.

    When you're in a loving relationship- (i think this is where maybe you feel scared/unsure) sex is more a way of communication rather than something purely physical and mechanical.
  5. colt45

    colt45 Well-Known Member

    I think about sex allot to myself.

    Naturally we all have erges.

    I want a girl friend not for sex, make-out a bit but not all the way.

    What I a trying to say is a little moderation is good to have.
  6. NeverHappy

    NeverHappy Well-Known Member

    I've been sex obsessed for years (though I've never actually had sex and don't plan to unless I fine "the one") but right now I'd prefer a nice warm hug.
  7. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member


    i'm not sex obsessed. . . well, yeah i am. it's just that i know i'm not going to have sex until marriage, but. . . it scares me so bad. i've had really bad luck in the guy dept. most of the guys who "like" me are the type to have sex with you and then leave. they have also already been with most of my cousins but i'm not attracted to them anyway. i just feel really alone and weird.
  8. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    If you don't mind my asking, how old are you?
  9. colt45

    colt45 Well-Known Member

    I am scared with sex too myself, AIDs getting a girl pregant.

    It is just human nature that we fantize about it.

    Sometimes jsut talking about sexual-rated stuff help a bit.

    Feel free to PM me about it. i will listen.
  10. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    I'm 17, 18 in October. I don't fantasize about sex. I'm just obsessed with everything that could go wrong. Like what if he doesn't think I'm attractive? Or what if I don't like it at all? I feel so stupid for even posting this at all because now it's just made me think of it even more.
  11. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    You need to stop worrying about it love, honest to God, sex ain't a big deal and too be honest...
    In your case I think waiting till marriage is a fucking terrible idea, unless of course you get off on putting yourself under a huge amount of pressure which really will make it a horrible experience.
  12. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    Well then I guess I won't wait until marriage. What I meant was that I'm waiting for someone special I guess. But that doesn't take away the. . . I guess anxiety I have about sex. I mean, my mom has always been really open and let us ask whatever we needed to ask (dad is wwaayy to uncomfortable talking to any of us about sex) but I mean. . . Idk. Never mind.
  13. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I personally think you should wait until that special someone comes along. It will be well worth the wait. You will be fulfilled both psychically and emotionally. Just wait until your knight in shining armour comes along.
    I think it's great that your concerned and that you want to give your virginity away to someone dear to you.
  14. flayflow

    flayflow Well-Known Member

    :hug:i was like that my first time

    i still have a problem with it
    i hate a guy to see me naked
    i think bout sex like...o i wonder what it would be like to have sex with him but im not comfortable with my body.

    that bf i have atm is a gem and doesn't force me. since my first time im more relaxed bout it. for some reason i cant get emotionally involved. i would have sex with anyone (with in reason) because i dont et anything from sex!i can live with out it, its not a must have

    trust me hun your not the only one who thinks bout it :hug:
  15. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    Thanks everyone for replying. It makes me feel a little better that I'm not the only who thinks about it a lot. I was about 14 was when I first started really thinking about it because all of my cousins had already been sexually active for years (they are all older than me but talked about it a lot). They're actually the ones that got me to start thinking about it and to this day still look down on me for still being a virgin.
  16. Issaccs

    Issaccs Well-Known Member

    Its a much better idea love, theres going to be someone out there that makes you feel comfortable enough around sex.
    Little advice from me though, just because your sexually active doesn't mean you need to jump into intercourse.
  17. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    i love your posts. yeah sex can be a very miserable thing:laugh:.
  18. Dessao

    Dessao New Member

    Sometimes I just want to put up a "screw society" billboard :unsure:

    You sound like you want to build some trust before you want to go all the way. Contrary to common belief, there is no rule that forces you to have sex on date #3, or in week one, or in week 10. Be unafraid to do what you think is right... you WILL know when it's time.
  19. Lady Byron

    Lady Byron Well-Known Member

    thanks Dessao. I know I'll know when the time comes and hopefully it will be my choice to finally have sex and with "that special someone."
  20. brainstorm

    brainstorm Well-Known Member

    Meanwhile, take the time to know your body. Few things seem nicer for me as a man than a woman that knows what's good for her and asks for it. "Yes Ma'am!". Besides, most men couldn't find their butts with a GPS, let alone know what's good for a woman. Unfortunately, it's up to the both of you to tell the other what works for you, because everybody is different. And to tell your man, you have to know some of it by yourself. And if you know yourself, that will propably give you confidence in yourself.

    Be careful. It's not up to you to make other people happy. It IS up to you to create the conditions for YOUR happiness. Be open to new people but be prepared to let them go, without creating drama, if you don't feel comfortable with them. Of course, at your age, most BOYS are really still KIDS, selfish, insensitive kids (hey, it's been a while but I've been a boy of 18 - hoowee...). Some of them are still at the stage of looking at sex as a race to orgasm followed by parading the tailmarks with their friends, instead of seeing sex as the most exquisite way of demonstrating your feelings for someone (and that feeling can be plain, hot, animal, carnal desire, with no "feelings" involved).