This is going to sound stupid...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Ferret, Nov 9, 2009.

  1. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    I strive to be an achiever. I set really high standards for myself. I do this because good marks are pretty much all I have to be happy about. A lot of people would say that's sad, but they need to spend a day in my shoes. Anyway, I graduated from my skilled trade electrical program today with an A average. I was a decimal point or two away from getting an A+. That's what I was striving for all along. Maybe it was stupid things I did, like smoking weed the night before the exam (after studying of course) and staying up late. I still managed to get A's in all my courses but this is disappointing to me for some reason. I think I should just get a life. You can tell me too. I must really be the weirdest person alive to be writing about this.
     
  2. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Sounds familiar in so many ways...I was an honor student for so long - one grade less than perfect made me very unhappy...

    Not strange, for me - I felt my worth had to do with doing well - that without achieving, I was worthless. I still do at work - if something isn't done well - and I have many responsibilities (too many to humanly be able to cover)...well I get very down, feel incompetent.... yet, I know I'm not...

    It has taken til now to realize that anyone's life - mine - yours - has intrinsic worth and value, even if we don't know what it is. We impact others by our very existence and it is up to us to make that as positive as possible...Life is not just doing - sometimes it is being...

    I still fight the feeling that nothing is ever good enough... but I have learned to back off at times and say "Oh well - guess what - I'm human!"

    Hang in there - you aren't weird, and even if you are - that's ok too :laugh:
     
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No you certainly are not weird a perfectionist maybe but lots of people find self worth this way. You can get your councillor to help you deal with these feelings
    take care and congratulations on such great marks.
     
  4. Ferret

    Ferret Well-Known Member

    I'm going to see my therapist about it. It's still getting me down. People are dying and are sick in this country and in other parts of the world, and I'm here worrying over something silly. Thanks for your help.
     
  5. Little_me

    Little_me Well-Known Member

    I'm like that too. B isn't enough for me.... :( I "must" have A to feel good about something.
    Well I was somewhat relieved when I passed math, but I wasn't happy. I still felt and feel like a failure... My therapist is horrified of my goals, she thinks it's crazy as my mental state is as bad as it is right now, but I still don't accept it. I WANT good grades. :(