Hey Lullo, I read a few of your previous posts and recall you had mood wings and were trying meds. I know you had issues with bullying at school also - I did myself but was always mad enough to have a go with anyone no matter the size.
As for your mood swings, I'm with you there myself. Sometimes its hard to even say I'll be turning up for something - I mean, you might feel great when accepting an invite but feel like you've crawled out from some crack cocaine binge on the night. Not that I use crack - I'm just imagining that the low moods that can hit us really are on a level with something that bad.
How else would we even think about wanting to die?
I'm just hoping and praying that you're OK right now - that you've not taken some course of action that would mean the end.