This is how i'm going to do it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by somename, Jun 10, 2009.

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  1. somename

    somename Member

    < Mod Edit Hazel: Methods >
    No one will look for me. Already told them I'm joining a monastery in Nepal :)

    Life as we know it is a discontinuous affair. The self stops to exist every night. So what if it carries on non existing forever.

    Thought I'll share. Feels lonely in my last days. Apparently can't discuss this with friends.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 10, 2009
  2. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Please don';t do it. You seem to suggest that there are days left so why not give it your all and talk to us?
    Please hold off please.
  3. Hanging by a thread

    Hanging by a thread Well-Known Member

    heya, first of all welcome to the forum :) How about you stay round the forum for a while and see if any of us can help you? May as well give it chance, do you wanna talk bout the reasons behind ur suicidal feelings ?
    Take care hun and be safe x
  4. somename

    somename Member

    Didn't expect such a quick reply :)
    Thank you!

    I am fully committed. The last days are just logistics.

    I understand your concern but really it's not necessary.
    Appreciate there's someone out there I can mention it to though.
  5. pisces

    pisces New Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hi there, i do hope even tho it seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel you find the strength to keep looking for the glimmer and that it does begin to shine bright for you and maybe its a start by being in here, stay safe
  6. somename

    somename Member

    Yes, I can see the "light at the end of the tunnel." :) It's peace.
    I had interesting life. Time to finish it nicely.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Somename!

    Welcome to the forums. I'm glad you found us :arms:

    Please tell us what's made you feel this way. Why do you feel you have to do this?
    There are other options, have you sought any professional help for the way you're feeling?
    You don't have to suffer with these thoughts alone,

    Thinking of you :heart:
  8. somename

    somename Member

    To tell you the truth I'm past suffering. I have a goal and I'm following.
    It's not a sudden decision. Been planning for years. These are just the final days. Yes, i did have professional help. But my problem is Existence. I don't want to be aware. Hard to fix that :)

    Thanks for your reply. Nice to share at the end when you can't with your friends.

    Sorry, you won't be able to help the way you wish... but it's help nevertheless.
  9. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Well enjoy your death then. I will prolly see you later on in hell.

    Just gonna give up huh. that's it? WTF MAN....wake up. You dont have to do this. There are so many options out there that can make your life better.

    You say that you have had professional help, well then you know that there are options out there.
  10. somename

    somename Member

    Not sure how we are gonna find each other there... they might give us different user names :) And don't give up you still have time to join the other team.

    Options- yes. An this is a valid and preferable one.

    Always look on the bright side of... :)

    Thanks for your time
  11. Ophelia1600

    Ophelia1600 Active Member

    I wish you peace, no matter what you decide.
  12. somename

    somename Member

    Thanks, it means a lot to me! This forum is the only social connection I have left.

    Found a beautiful location and building my resting place. I feel quite settled and looking forward to it. Hope nobody spoils it :)
    Appreciate not trying to convince me otherwise.

    Your post on Logically Suicidal hit a nerve. I'm the same with cashiers or anybody who expects stereotypical behavior. Hate the small talk.
    Stranger on the path approaching - damn! :) Do I try to ignore them? Look the other way. Do I say hi first... or wait. Maybe I pretend that I'm sulking and rude and say nothing. Wait this is too hilarious maybe I'll laugh in their face :)
    For a brief while though I found a solution (i'm a guy and IT person...need to find solutions :) ). Had a girlfriend who enjoyed small talk, not that she was shallow but she liked to start conversation with insubstantial topics. The energy she would put into it was so captivating :) Soon I started doing the same to other people just for the fun of it. It worked, it was a game, it was fun. But I think the main reason that it worked was because of the social environment. You have somebody close to you that anchors you to that other world. And that's what most families do, i think, they perpetuate those stereotypical responses and make it so frustrating for the rest of us. :)

    Listen, I don't know what your situation is, but if you can hold on for another 50 or so years technology might have a solution. The moment people start to upload and live in virtual realities you can shape up any experiences you wish.

    Until then, bitch and moan :)
  13. Ophelia1600

    Ophelia1600 Active Member

    I plan to hang on only as long as my cat does. Still wishing you find peace.
  14. somename

    somename Member

    I've dug out the hole.
    Such a beautiful countryside. Wish I could live there. So many creatures live there without paying. But for people it's made impossible, unless you buy it. I've no place on this planet. At least I'll enjoy that one for a few days... against the law :)

    Can't understand what the big drama about dying is. I've absolutely no negative emotions. To give it a proper name, I've dug out a grave today and it didn't strike me as odd. :) Only when I put it in perspective what others might think it sounds... weird :) Probably means I've reached the logical end. Could be different if you have loose ends or experiences you still wish to have. Oh yeah, fear too... don't envy my religious brothers and sisters.

    Tomorrow I'm a builder. Plywood, screws, drill, drill bits, knife, plastic, tacks, duct tape, glue, glue gun... Phew, good thing we have technology :)
  15. somename

    somename Member

    Cats are important. Not to be left behind. :)
    I would've done the same if I had a pet. Strange, we are not so dedicated to relatives. We could've last for the whole life cycle. :)
  16. Denial87

    Denial87 Member

    I sense that a part of you really doesn't want to die (maybe you just want the pain to stop), because you are here, and you are telling us this. You are looking for help, for people to understand you.

    Please let us help you, let us understand you.
  17. Cortez

    Cortez Banned Member

    I'm in no position to judge you or tell you not to, because I have been thinking about it too for about a year now. I hope a miracle happens to you and you decide not to, you could even share with us what that miracle was. If you do decide to do it, ask god to understand and forgive you, even if you don't believe in God you have nothing to lose by praying. Hope you find solace in whatever actions you take, especially in the afterlife if there is one.
  18. somename

    somename Member

    Sure. You are right. Nothing to lose. I'll say a prayer repenting all sins.
    And just before expiration I'll try to hold a positive thought in my mind, either peace or freedom. That way, in case there's reincarnation going on and what you hold in mind your last moment is what you become, I'll probably be better off next cycle.
    Most likely I'll fade into oblivion and nothing will matter.

    I've been trying to exist as little as possible for the last 2 years with great success. I'll just make it permanent.
    As far as I'm concerned, as long as I don't have an awareness of self existence I'm fine. And that's precisely what happens every night. So, we know very well how not to exist. I usually disappear for at least 12h in 24h cycle and take naps in between :) For two years I was probably not around for about 70% of the time. 80%... 90%... 100%. At 100% there will be lack of "Oh, shucks! Not another day." :)

    Thanks for your reply.
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