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This is impossible..

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by foreverforgotten, Feb 18, 2012.

  1. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    I'm so lonely all the time.
    I don't have a single friend.
    I don't know what to talk about with people.
    I never have anything in common
    with anyone. Its scary to sit
    at the same table with someone.

    I feel like I'm unlovable.. I feel like
    the reason I'm alone is because I'm a boring person.
    I don't talk. Words escape me. The internet is no exception.
    I've been on this forum reading and reading..
    and another forum reading and putting in the random comment here or there,
    but I never get replies. or I just can't even say anything at all.

    I can't message people, or when they message me
    I run out of things to say.
    I can't keep anything alive. I guess I really am boring..
    Why can't I think of anything to say?!
    Its impossible to get personal with anyone.
    I don't let anyone into my world.
    I guess its toxic shame.

    I feel so inadequate and disgusting.
    I'm so paranoid all the time when I'm around people,
    that their talking about me, having certain thoughts about me,
    disliking me and disgusted with me.

    This world sickens me with all its
    smiling faces, of people who are never lonely
    and can laugh and joke and relax around friends.
    They have big families, and husbands, and kids,
    and a life outside of work. I feel like I'm on another planet.
    Those are things I will NEVER experience!!
    I want to punch them all and scream at them!
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Just a :hug: to let you know you have been heard and are cared about.

    I doubt you are boring, but you might be shy or very reserved. I'm sure that you are loveable even if you are a quieter type of person.

    One way to take away some of the stress of talking with people is to ask about their interests - "Where do you go cycling?" "What kinds of books do you like best?" "What's the best way to get into a training routine?" Usually, people will be happy to chat with someone who is interested in them.

    So, what are you interested in? What sort of work do you? What music do you like?
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I must say that from merely hearing those words that you spoke just now, I find you to be a fascinating soul. Perhaps this is overdoing it a bit, but it is nonetheless my initial impression. That you do have something of significance to offer to the world and those that live within it. I know that it can be extremely difficult--impossible almost--to communicate effectively & meaningfully with others when we are out of practice. All that I will tell you is that it isn't that bad, and that it can be corrected simply by forcing yourself to get back in the saddle, so to speak. In other words, by doing it little by little, day by day, gradually it gets easier. You begin to gain more confidence with each encounter and can eventually feel good about your abilities as well as yourself, in general. On the other hand, beating yourself up or bringing yourself down for misperceived inadequacies regarding your own communication skills, only makes matters worse. I'd be willing to bet that it's not so horrible as you presume. I only offer this because I have been where you are. And there is hope! Best Regards.
  4. varek

    varek Well-Known Member

    I have to say I agree with MisterBGone on this one.. the fact that you've managed to your doubts in writing says something in itself: in my mind, self awareness is the most important trait anyone can have. There's nothing worse than someone who's totally unaware of the gravity (or lack of gravity) in their words, and it seems to me you're about as far from one of those people as one can be. I wish there were more people in the world like you, OP. People who aren't afraid of silence in conversation when nothing needs to be said.. people who bother with inane small-talk that no one really cares about anyway.

    Just because you're different, it doesn't make you in any way wrong.

    (Sorry for ranting a bit, but this is Let It All Out after all..)

    EDIT: be careful not to equate 'not making small talk' with being boring.. Connecting with people on a shallow level isn't about being interesting or boring, it's just a skill. Some people are better than it than others. There's a really good book about this that was written in 1936 called 'How to Win Friends and Influence People'.. sounds really corny I know but I think you might find it really interesting, I learnt a lot from it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 18, 2012
  5. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    Thank you guys..
    I'm thinking abouwhat you've said but I'm
    stiill confused and haven't figured it out.
    Its even difficult responding here to say how I feel
    about it and what I think..
  6. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    And just keep in mind that this is only my opinion. I could be right, I could be wrong, or somewhere in between... Besides, I think that what sometimes helps me a little is to think less and do more. Because the more I think about, the worse it gets since fear has a chance to fester. Whereas if I just do it without worrying about all of the pitfalls, there's a whole lot less pressure involved. Almost like an ignorance is bliss type of feeling... And relax, you don't have to feel like you've got to say anything to us that you don't feel comfortable sharing. We're owed nothing! So, it's all good! I hope you've found some help!