its time. i am a coward. AND IM SICK OF IT!!! im tired of being a slave to the safeguards my twisted mind has created to keep me safe. why be sad, when you can be angry at yourself for feeling that way? why weep tears, when you can shed blood and keep it all in? well i cant. everytime i fail, everytime i fall short or mess up, its the same story. i cut. i shouldnt have to. i want to just let it all out. but my mind says "NO!!! its too dangerous. youll be vunerable." IM VUNERABLE NOW!!! the things others may do to me is nothing to the horrors i make myself endure. "other people will betray you." im my own betrayer! i cant let other people hurt me because im too busy torturing myself!!! im trapped. i have the key to my freedom right here. but i cant use it. oh no. its to dangerous. i can say this, and its true. but i cant take action. not yet. im still to weak to face the outburst id release. the tears. the screams. its too much. but i will one day. i know i can. its just... its not safe for me too. not yet. but thanks to all of you, im getting closer. nobody near me understands. they couldnt help. but you, you do. you have. one day ill be able to set myself free from my dungeon. and hopefully you will be set free from yours. this is gonna be my first real step to recovery. but im not alone. we are all on the same path.