This is it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Annellannell, Oct 23, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Annellannell

    Annellannell Member

    I have nothing, I have no one. I'm in Spain selling my body trying to get enough money together for a plane ticket home... I just can't take anymore... Lisa, I am sorry for all I did , I am sorry for the things I said and did without thinking before I hurt you. I know by the time you read this it will be too late for me to fix any of it, and words will be just that.. words.
    Oh, God how I wish I could go back on time and change things and just love you. I would have never left the USA. Too late now. I love you. I am sorry. I will love you forever.bye.
     
  2. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    I'm not very good at saying things the way I want to, so I'll just try my best here. Please, don't do anything stupid. I'm begging you here, don't do what I think you're gonna do. Just give life another chance, contact someone for money for the plane ticket, just give it another chance. Add me on MSn or AIM and mesage me if you need someone to talk to, please, rethink this.
     
  3. Cpt-Fantastic

    Cpt-Fantastic Banned Member

    hey anne, if you want to go home and you dont have the funds, you can always contact your embassy. they repatriate citizens (bring you home) and help you when you are in trouble in another country. if you are in spain i think there is one in madrid and they have a phone number too i would definately contact them

    p.s. if you are still having trouble getting home please reply to this topic, i got some more aces up my sleeve if you need any :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 23, 2011
  4. Annellannell

    Annellannell Member

    It's more complicated than you can imagined. I am in trouble.

    What I am doing it's illegal. I can't just walk in there and tell them. Besides, I am a minor.

    I want to go home to the US but I don't want to go back home. A lot of people are looking for me and I don't want to be found.

    Yesterday I walked in front of a car. So pathetic, I can't even kill myself right. I can't do anything right. tears. All I managed to do is destroyed this dude's windshield with my head, got a broken finger, broken ribs, lots of bruises, I guess he saw me coming and slowed down. Maybe now with all the pain killers they gave me at the hospital I can overdose... if I add a few more... I had to lied at the hospital about my name and run before they figured it out I wasn't who I said I was...

    One more problem... I don't know what to do.

    The place I work at take half of the money I make. Drugs are everywhere... I had never used before but now I don't care if a man offers me some, I say yes. I want to forget, not feel. I cut to relief the pain and it helps me some. You must be sick reading all this shit, I am sorry.
     
  5. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    No don't be sorry! and you don't have to tell the embassy what you're doing, just say that you're in trouble. Besides, even if you told them I doubt they'd arrest you or anything. Just don't get into any hard drugs, ok? And don't OD, if you survived the first attempt than theres a reason for it. There's a reason for everything, just don't try again. I'm on MSN or AIM if you need someone to talk to, just click on the buttons under where it says my real name (top right of my post thing).
     
  6. Annellannell

    Annellannell Member

    Shit, I never thought it would end like this.I got my music on,loud.
    I'm trying not to <mod edit: *sparkle* methods> . There's no way I walk away on this one ha ha.
    I posted a question on "self harm" but got shut down.. :) so here it goes.
    Today I called the USA consulated in Barcelona. They said I have to paid 135Euros for a new passport plus 4 Euros in coins for a picture. After that they started to asked me about my name and age, I explained the situation without giving my name and they told me they had to put me on hold and send the police to my location. Call my parents... I hung up and left the payphone.
    Went back to the house where I work, got hit by the owner because I wasn't suppost to leave the house without permission. Fine. Went to the room where the client was waiting for me. Lines of cok...and pot one after another for 3 hours. Sex. At this point I don't care anymore.
    He left. I am high. I cut. I post. You erased.
    I don't want to be here anymore.I won't be.
    I am 16.
    I am tired. I am ending this now.
    I am learning to fly now before my head is to clear and I loose the courage to ****.Enough talking
    let's do this.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 24, 2011
  7. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    dont fucking do this! I can't even put my fear into word right now! Come on, it's not death you want, you want the pain to stop. I think that going back to the US is much better than what you're doing now, just give the US embassy a call again and go home. I doubt that going home could be worse than what's going on now.
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Well you want to get home then contact authorities as you are a minor then they will make sure you get home to your family safely. Contact your family get them to contact authoriites who will help you get home safely
    Go to hospital get help there a place to get you stable and keep you safe there is help for you but you need to reach out for it hun
     
  9. ExtraSoap

    ExtraSoap Well-Known Member

    Annell, I don't know if you're still with us or not, but writing this can't hurt, I guess. I just want you to know that I tried. I don't even know you, and I tried. I just wish I could've done more for you, I really do, but other than making a pathetic attempt at talking you out of it, my hands were tied. I just wish I could have helped, you don't deserve to die, you don't deserve my attempt to talk to you. I just wish I could have somehow found you and brought you home and make everything better. I'm only a year older than you, and I feel somehow responsible for what happening to you. I'm really sorry, Annell, I really am.
     
  10. luri

    luri New Member

    i hope you're still here
     
  11. afraidoflife

    afraidoflife Active Member

    Anna, I pray to God that he may help you, please keep your hopes up.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.