this is long, but i need help asap PLEASE

[jpfendler]

Hi, I just found out some real bad things. some of you that have read my past posts know that I was sexually abused, well this is that part I have a hard time talking about, but if I don't get some support now I don't know whats going to happen to me. Well here gose nothing.
When I was about 12- 13 yrs. old my moms ex- husband son sexually malested me. I didn't know it at the time but he got me pregant. my mom had asked me if I was and I told her no because I believed I was a vergin. it was dropped for a while and when school let out for the summer my mom again brought it up. she took me to get tested and they said I was. I truly beleived it was a mistake. once I thought about it I had realized that person who did the stuff to me got me pregant, I didn't put thing together because I didn't think that something that could hurt so bad could make me pregant. I thought that having sex was between two people that loved each other and married. the pian I had suffered was so intense that I thought I would pass out before he was done. anyways My mom made me get an abortion, I didn't know that much about them, she took me with my grandma. my mom wanted me to learn a lesson so she chose for me to stay awake for the thing to be done, luckly my grandma told her no and paid for me to be put to sleep, so I didn't know what or how it happened. so all this took place about 30 yrs. ago. Presantly, I just found out about how abortions are performed, It made me sick to my stomach. right now I feel like my insides are going to come up. I can't beleive I let that happen. I should have ran away and stayed gone. I let then tare apart a baby that was inside me, and find out that I was far enough along were the baby feels pain. Its so inhumane animals aren't even tearted like that. I don't know what to to with these feelings that are going on in side me right now. I feel like I can't get a grip on whats going on inside. I let someone torture a tiny innocent baby that didn't ask to be conceived. I HATE the person who did this to me. I don't know how I can get through this. I feel like I'm going to explode. anyone that reads this please help me I don't think I could get through this on my own. thank judi
ps sorry for this being so long

 

[Rockster]

Well i am here if you want to chat about anything, PM me, add me on msn, yim etc :hug:

 

[Stranger1]

Hey JP,
It wasn't your fault!!! You were just a child when all this happened. The scumbag that did this to you should have been put in jail. I don't know the laws if it is to late to press charges. I can understand how you feel even though I am male.
A mother and child start bonding when the baby is in the womb. You had that taken from you and are still feeling the after effects. You really should see a doctor and tell him what you are going thru!!
Being a male I don't know what else to say. If you want to talk just PM me and if you Have MSN i will give you my address on it so we can talk better. I feel for you and hope you can forgive yourself because you aren't to blame!!!Take Care!~Joseph~

 

[Dave_N]

I'm sorry that you had to go through that horrible experience, but at 12 years old, I think you were too young to be a mother. I also feel sorry for your unborn baby, but I pray that he's in heaven now or reincarnate as someone else. Please don't let your past make you feel depressed. Your step brother is a jerk for doing this to you and your mom should take your side and be more supportive. You have us though hun. :hug: